Friday, July 15, 2011

I'll need a Pinky-swear

As he lies in my lap
And together we sway
I rock him to sleep 
And meanwhile I pray:

"Dear God, I know you can see us
And you're watching from above
Filled with sadness for him, as we are,
And equally in love.

I've never once asked You "why?"
Nor questioned if You were near. 
But I do have one request tonight, 
I pray that you will hear. 

When it's time for You to call him home, 
And my hope turns into despair,
I will need more than a promise from You,
I'll need a pinky-swear...

That you will hold him close to Your chest,
And say "I love you" all day long.
That you will rock him 'til your knees get sore,
And sing his favorite songs.

Tell me that You'll keep him safe,
So I will not be distressed.
Tell me that he'll will get his wings
And tell me he'll be blessed.

Let me know he made it safely,
Without a single blister or bleed,
Let me know that you will do MY job,
To fulfill his every need.

I have to know that you will love him,
Just as much, or more, than I do.
And when he finally speaks a word,
That You'll record it so I can hear, too.

My buddy is going to need Your help,
With so much yet to learn.
Like using a spoon, writing his name,
And having to wait his turn. 

God, please be patient when he tries,
For he's such a sweet and loving boy.
Please give him every thing he wants,
But make sure he shares his toys.

These are things I'll miss out on,
Like no Mommy should have to do. 
So don't let one milestone go unnoticed,
Please, I'm begging You.

He likes Elmo's ducks, The Three little Pigs,
Shoo Fly and Counting to Four.
Big Green Tractor, Rise and Shine. 
And when they stop, he'll tell you "more."

He holds certain toys in certain hands, 
And says yes with a big smile.
Please spend some extra special time,
And talk with him awhile.  

It breaks my heart to have to think
That he won't graduate from school. 
Or go to prom, or have kids of his own,
Or even break a single rule.

Tell him for me- please don't forget,
That I wanted him to stay. 
That I tried and tried to ease his pain,
But it was only YOU who knew the way.

I know you have a choir of angels,
Who play music while they fly.
And if they need a drummer boy-
Well, my Tripp, he's their guy!

You've probably seen it for yourself,
That he's one brave kid, indeed.
But he'll be scared if You have to leave,
So stay with him, I plead. 

If he has to go to Heaven first,
I'll make one promise back to You- 
I'll miss him every second he's gone, 
And spend the rest of my life trying to get there, too.

I hope that's not too much to ask,
And I trust You'll do your best. 
To fill my spot, just temporary, 
And answer my requests.

Thank in advance, Dear God.
Because I know You're a busy man. 
I trust in You and in Your Will
And know You have a plan."

Words just simply can't express
To my only son who just turned two-
How very much my heart will ache
If that rocking chair is without you.

So dear sweet angel baby of mine, 
If we ever have to say goodbye...
I'll rock you in my heart forever, 
Until we meet again in the sky. 


Written by Mommy
7/14/11


Photobucket

171 comments:

  1. Tears are running as I type this, Sweet Courtney. I can only imagine how hard it is to wish for his pain to be taken away and that he can go home and fly free in one breath and beg for God to let you keep him a while longer in the next. I ache for you, Sweet Friend. I would give anything to hold you (and him) in my arms, if only for just a moment and whisper prayers for you. Please know that I'm whispering them from afar and keeping you in my thoughts all the time. I love you more than I can say.

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  2. Courtney,
    I loved your poem. It is absolutely beautiful. EB is such a horrible disease and it's so hard to be on the parent end of things. I enjoy reading your blog because you are one of the very few people who completely understand the life of an EB parent. I know that God will take care of Tripp and I know that families are forever. It's how I get through the day and I'm sure it's the same for you. I love you and Tripp and I think you're such an amazing mother. If you ever need anything or just to talk, please call. Praying for Tripp, for you and for the doctors. Love,Jennifer

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  3. What a love-filled poem to your son. Praying for you both.

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  4. this totally breaks my heart. you are in my families prayers.

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  5. I have tears streaming down my face as I type. You and Tripp are in my prayers. I wish there were more I could do, but I know that God holds you both close during this time.

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  6. I'm crying, too. You have an unbelievable amount of love for Tripp, and I hope it comforts you a little bit to know that your readers love him, and you, too. Thanks for continuing to share with us.

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  7. Courtney, thank you so much for sharing this with us. It is so moving and beautifully written. You are such an inspiration to all the mothers you have been blessed to reach. I weep with you and for you, and pray for God's will for little Tripp.

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  8. Beautiful Courtney...just beautiful. I am sure that God himself was in tears reading that and listening to your heart as you prayed it.

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  9. Oh Courtney!!!!! That poem is just perfect!!!! PLEASE GOD HEAR HER PRAYER!!!!!

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  10. this is beautiful, and it breaks my heart. i pray for peace and comfort for you, your family, and especially your sweet boy.

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  11. Prayers and hugs for you and Tripp. I wish I could do more. And hugs for your Mom, too.

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  12. You have me crying so many tears - this poem has every emotion and was written perfectly. I wish for you that you and your sweet little boy didn't have to make this type of pinky swear with God so soon. There is not a night that goes by that I don't pray for you and Tripp.

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  13. Absolutely beautiful. I have been following your blog for a while. Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and him.

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  14. Courtney, you are such an inspiration to everyone. This poem is so moving. Thank you for sharing it with us. As always, I continue to pray for you and your sweet angel baby boy. God Bless Tripp, you and your family. He is truly a lucky boy to have such an amazing mom.

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  15. Tears....what precious words. You amaze me. I can't imagine being in your place...your faith inspires me! Thank you for that. Please God wrap your loving arms around Tripp, Courtney and their family.

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  16. Beautiful. Sweet boy, we are praying for you, and your amazing mommy.

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  17. Thank you for sharing (as the tears flow) - bless you both...you continue to inspire & bless so many ~love and prayers

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  18. He won't let Tripp, or you down Courtney. Praying!

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  19. I am in awe of you and your precious son.

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  20. Beautiful poem Courtney. I had to read a little at a time to get through it. I have always had a similar prayer to God for Lauren. I think of you everyday. Stay strong. Trip knows he is loved.

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  21. Ah, no words can express what I feel for you and Tripp...two amazing people I have never met. This is an amazing poem,and your strength brings tears to my eyes. I balled the whole way through this poem. I have been thinking of you and Tripp constantly and praying for you. Here's a hug for you and a gentle kiss for that beautiful boy!

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  22. This is so sweet and so beautiful! You and Tripp's strength continue to be an inspiration to me and to many. My thoughts and prayers are with you often.

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  23. Courtney..that is a beautiful expression of your love for Tripp! I am praying along with you and many others who's lives have been touched by Tripp sweetness. Your courage ,love and devotion show how blessed Tripp is to have you as his mother.

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  24. Courtney, Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem and sweet son with us. Tripp and his AMAZING Mommy are always in my thoughts and prayers, and I ask our Angel Leah to visit Tripp every day.
    Love, Judy T.(Leah's Grandma), Bowie,MD

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  25. I can't even imagine how torn you must feel. Your poem was so beautiful and inspired. You and your sweet Tripp have touched my life so much. You make me want to be a better mom, you've taught me how precious our sweet children are and not to take a single moment for granted. Thank you, my prayers are always with you and your sweet little Tripp!

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  26. Tears, Smiles, Heartache, Hope, Dispair all filled my heart. This is absolutely beautiful...so very well said. Don't worry about making it to heaven dear girl...your ticket has already been bought and paid for!!! Sending love, hugs and prayer!!!

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  27. Wow! You know you are the best Mom ever! I've never posted before. I always just lurk, but I just couldn't help myself this time. Praying for all of you always!

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  28. That is beautiful. You and Tripp are always in my prayers.

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  29. Courtney, you are so amazing. No words I can say, can express how much I think of you and your amazing Son. You all are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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  30. Courtney, that poem is amazing, and so are you. You and Tripp are always in my prayers. He could not have a better mommy in the entire world.

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  31. I've been following you and Tripp for over a year and constantly pray for you both. I have never commented although please know, I think you are an inspiration (and your mother)! But I just had to tell you this brought tears to my eyes and am sending extra prayers your way. I know God will listen to your prayers!

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  32. *tears* (((hugz))) That is beautiful!

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  33. May God bless you, both...

    xoxo
    cathy

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  34. Prayers for you, for him and for your family. Such a sweet poem, words cannot express.

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  35. You and your family are absolutely in my prayers, Courtney. That was such a beautiful and heart consuming poem. I know we are not close but a day does not go by that I don't think of you guys. Tripp is an amazing little man and you are an amazing mother. You are the strongest person and I know God will answer all your requests!

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  36. Such a beautiful poem about "the little knight". Each and every word was heart felt. Lots of thoughts and prayers coming your way.

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  37. Oh I am crying too. Courtney he won't let you down, he will love that wee boy more than you can even believe. God knows him already and will treat him like a little Prince.

    God Bless you, whether you like to believe it or not you are one extraordinary lady.

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  38. Courtney-You are inspiration to us all! Your poem is one of kind! Just like you! Your are truly amazing!! Prayers for you and your family!! xoxo

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  39. I too have tears running down my face. Please know what an inspiration you are and how much respect I have for you. You are in my prayers as is Tripp.

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  40. Beautiful, so heart-felt, and amazing in every way!! You are a great mommy. May God bless you and your wonderful son!

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  41. You are a wonderful writer, that poem moved me to tears. Thank you for sharing.

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  42. I can't say anything that has not already been said. Courtney I pray for you Tripp and the rest of your family often. Your ode to Tripp and his life.....beautifully written and heartfelt

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  43. Oh Courtney: What a beautiful heartfelt poem for your amazing son. I wish I lived closer so I could come give you a giant hug. You and your Mom are simply amazing.
    To watch your child in pain everyday is simply heartbreaking and I don't know how you do it. There is a special place in heaven for EB children and their parents, I truly believe that. Extra prayers are coming your way. Love you guys. Love and Peace Leah's Nana

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  44. beautiful poem & prayer...God Bless Tripp & you!

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  45. Courtney, thank you for sharing your story, thoughts and feelings with all of us! You have so much support from all over (we are in Minnesota)We will be saying an extra prayer for you both tonight! God Bless!

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  46. As the tears flow down my face, I can't imagine what you are going through. You are so blessed to have Tripp in your life it's unreal. He has touched so many lives so many you won't even know! I pray for you and your family and your little buddy. God will be there for you and him forever and always. Tripp will always be with you forever and always. Praying for you and that the pain is eased!

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  47. Thank you so much for sharing that poem with us. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I can not even imagine the pain you and your child are going through. You truly are an inspiration.

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  48. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  49. Oh dear Courtney,
    You will ALWAYS be Tripp's mommy, no matter what, whether he is here on Earth or healed in Heaven.
    There is no better mommy for Tripp than you. Ever.
    Your beautiful poem brought me to tears and to my knees in prayer for you.
    Lifting you both up in prayer during this very difficult time. Please know that so many of us are out here, all over the world, bathing you both in prayer and sending lots of love and light your way.

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  50. Praying for you with tears streaming down my face

    Em
    From Australia

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  51. God knew what He was doing in making you Tripp's mommy...you are an amazing source of strength and love for that awesome little man. You and Tripp have my thoughts and prayers everyday.

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  52. Tears, Heartbreaking tears for you and your family. I have followed your blog since the beginning and have always marveled in your strength. We are praying for Tripp's healing and we are lifting you up as well.

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  53. Dangit - Patrice said we'd need tissues and I didn't have any handy. Definitely need them now!! Precious Courtney, we love you and Tripp so much and HATE that he is struggling to hard. We continue to pray for his healing and for you to have peace, comfort and wisdom as you rock and care for him.

    Love from TX,
    Laura

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  54. I won't lie, I cried quite a bit when I read your beautiful poem. It truly hurts my heart to know of Tripp's suffering and of yours as well. Praying for you both.

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  55. My daughter does not have EB, but she does have multiple disabilities and her lifespan is unknown. I read this poem and literally had to stop and start and stop and start. It took me a while to get all the way through it, as I sobbed. It is beautifully written and could be my prayer for my daughter as well. Like I said, she doesn't have EB but she has many serious medical issues of her own. Thank you for sharing this with us!

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  56. All I can say is that is amazing...and so are you, and so is Tripp.

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  57. Praying and crying. A beautiful poem about a beautiful boy. Thank-you for sharing the poem, yourself and your amazing angel baby Tripp with us.

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  58. WOW!!! That is the sweetest poem ever. As I read it, tears began to fill my eyes because I could feel your hurt and see your love for him. Praying for you and Tripp!!!

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  59. What beautiful words! I'm praying for healing and peace for precious Tripp. May God wrap you both in his arms.

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  60. With tears streaming down my face I'm praying for you and Litlle Man.

    With love
    Sandra - Portugal

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  61. The words of your heart... how moving. Thanks for sharing and inspiring us all. I'm sending many prayers for you and Tripp. Your strength and love for Tripp are like watching God's divine love in action.

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  62. Dear Courtney,
    Beautiful, beautiful words of love. God is ready and hears your prayer. God choose you. You have fulfilled every "wish" he had for Tripp! What a treasure you are~ Tripp already has angel wings from you! He will soar, when the time comes, with a joy in his little heart knowing he is so, so, so loved. Hugs and prayers dear girl~

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  63. Wow Courtney...the most beautiful poem I have ever read...I'm so glad you were able to write all of that out. There's something so comforting to me while I was reading it and it's LOVE!! LOVE is the greatest...Love you and Tripp and all his little family and praying and thinking of you all<3

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  64. awww Courtney. That was beautiful. God hears you SO clearly. We are all here for you, in spirit, lifting you up. You are such brave, fierce and loving Mama. There was no one on this EARTH better suited for Tripp than you. Bless you all.

    Mindy

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  65. Courtney, I pray every night for you, Tripp and your family. That you stay strong, but don't be afraid to cry. Tears do help cleanse the soul. For your family be there, that Tripp's Daddy spend time with him now, before it's too late. And, for Tripp, that he doesn't have to suffer. That he's free of pain. That his disease be taken away if possible. My heart breaks for you. No child should have to go thru what Tripp does. I am so sorry.
    Love,
    Carla

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  66. my first time posting - couldn't keep silent anymore. what a beautiful poem written by one of the most courageous women i've "never" met :) i've been keeping up with you and tripp since bella had her transplant last year. every time i read your blog i think you and your beautiful baby tripp are truly blessed by god - strange to say - but the way you handle yourself in a situation where i would have crumbled in the beginning is a testament to what faith and love in god can do! prayers are coming from nc!
    god bless y'all!
    susan
    ws, nc

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  67. tears, hugs, memories of my sweet niece Lucy who never suffered near as much as Tripp, but lost the battle early on. hugs and prayers, friend. You and Tripp are truly amazing.

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  68. Praying for a miracle for sweet Tripp, and praying that God wraps your heart in His.

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  69. You and Tripp are truly amazing! I sit here with big tears in my eyes on the journey you have been on thus far. My daughter has DS and had open heart surgery in June, it was hard, but doesn't compare to your journey. I admire your strength & your faith. Jesus loves the little children!

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  70. I should have listened to Patrice and had the tissue ready! I am praying for your sweet baby and family!

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  71. Courtney, that was so sweet and heart-warming :) I can't even imagine the anxiety you have over the future, but you know that God will take care of you and Tripp both. I will definitely include you guys in my prayers :)

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  72. Courtney, that was beautiful! You made me cry, you and Trip are always in my thoughts and prayers:)

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  73. Oh Courtney you are so Courageous, Inspiring and a such Beautiful Mommy! My heart is hurting for you. I think about you and Tripp daily! You both are my HEROS! BIG Prayers for you, your family and Sweet Tripp

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  74. Your writing is incredible and you and Tripp our in my prayers. Hang in there.

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  75. Courtney,
    YIKES! I wasn't expecting to cry tonight and after reading your poem I sit here with tears running down my cheeks. That was a beautiful heartfelt poem. I am a mom of an EB angel and really felt those words you said. Thank you for sharing. Tripp is a sweet and strong little guy! He gets it from his mommy!
    Lonni Mooreland

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  76. My heart is so heavy for you Courtney. You and your family are in my prayers as always.

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  77. Tears pouring as I hear and feel your pain....what beautiful words and what precious requests....

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  78. That is SO special. God's timing is perfect, and little Tripp will be made perfect when he's in the arms of Jesus.

    Praying peace that passes all understanding over you and your family.

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  79. Tripp is definately a special little boy. I can't imagen what your heart is going through at this time,but I can tell how torn we all are to hear your little man is having such hard days. We check in on him everyday and pray, for God to comfort you and your family as well. Your poem is just beautiful and God has you taken care of Courtney.

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  80. sending you all lots of love.

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  81. Courtney,
    I pray for each of you daily here in ND. I pray that you are able to feel how much all of us have come to love you and Tripp. I cannot imagine how strong, brave and faithful you are as a mother in person. Tripp was truly given a gift when he was given you as his Mom. Stay strong, Holly

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  82. Dear Courtney,

    I am praying for you, i just can´t imagine how you are feeling right now... Tripp is a wonderfull little man, and you are the most stong person i have ever met.

    Everything is going to be allright, no matter if it´s here or in Heaven next to God.

    My heart and my prayers are with you...

    Sandra Coelho - Portugal

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  83. Speechless. Absolutely beautiful! Prayers for you all.

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  84. A rosary said today for you and your sweet precious baby boy!

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  85. I am new to your blog, I am so sorry.
    This poem is so beautiful, thank you for sharing. Praying for your family and that beautiful little boy of yours. ((HUGS))

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  86. I checked your blog during work which I should not have done - I can't stop crying! Such a beautiful tribute to your amazing son. You are one special momma and that is one special boy. I will be praying for you.

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  87. sweet baby... praying the same things with you.

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  88. praying and sending all the love i have for you right now. <3

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  89. Sending lots of love your way. What a beautiful poem... tears are just rolling down. I told my mum that my little guy's eczema is nothing compared to EB. You'll always be Tripp's mommy! And you are so amazing! xx

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  90. I made the mistake of reading this while I was at work the other day, and had to stop half way through because the tears were already starting. This is beautiful Courtney - absolutely beautiful.

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  91. I keep coming back and re-reading this poem and it makes me cry every time! You are an amazing mother and sweet Tripp was sure blessed to have a mom that loves him so much! I don't know how difficult it must be to watch him suffer and I don't want to even imagine it but I do know that it takes an extremely strong, faithful, humble and courageous person- all of which you are. You get to be in the presence of an angel every day, what a privilege! I think about you and Tripp daily. I've even given him a shout out on my blog asking my friends and family to include him in their prayers. He has truly touched my heart and has helped me change the way I am with my children!

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  92. This post reminds me of the bible story of how Hannah prayed to God to give her a son, and promised that if He did, she would give him back to God for His service. I'm so glad that God hears our prayers. I cannot even understand the strength you have. I pray that God blesses your family.

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  93. Wow. Beautiful. No one has done a better job on this earth taking care of and loving Tripp than you and no one will do a better job taking care of and loving him eternally than God. At bedtime I ask my sweet little girl if she wants to rock rock....we got that from you guys. I pray for comfort and peace for your family. Love and faith will guide your way.

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  94. beautiful words. You are such a brave mama to such a brave little boy.

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  95. I don't even know what to type as tears are rolling down my cheeks. Your writing is beautiful, honest, heartfelt, amazing, moving and so much more. Tripp is so very lucky to have you for a mommy. Bless you and your baby.

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  96. Courtney- the Lord has blessed you with an undeniable ability to express how you feel through words. This poem was beyond amazing. If that day should come, know that God has Tripp in His hands and He is safe in our faithful Father's arms!

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  97. I cannot even imagine the pain you are enduring as you see your son bear this cross. Thank you for sharing your very loving and heart-felt poem. It is BEAUTIFUL! Prayers headed your way from Seattle.

    In His name,
    Lanelle

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  98. Your poem so beautifully shows the tremendous love for your precious baby boy~ Sending prayers and love to you both~

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  99. courtney, i admire your strength & your courageous heart. sending all of my best thoughts & love towards you, tripp and the rest of your beautiful family.

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  100. You are so, so brave, Courtney, and please know-just how you posted that this life is exactly what was meant for Tripp, that you were absolutely meant to be his Mommy. You are the only woman I know that could do this as exactly perfectly as you are. My prayers are with you and your sweet boy.

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  101. I don't know you or your sweet angel, but you both are added to my prayers. My heart aches for you both, but seeing your strength is testament of God's love and graces! Tripp is one amazing little person, who with you, inspires us all! I pray for you to have continued strength and the peace you need throughout this journey. I also pray for Tripp's comfort.....may God continue to bless his sweet heart!!

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  102. Oh girl, I had to stop reading it three times just to be able to read the whole thing, cause I am at work. You are so brave and you are so lucky to have such strong faith in the Lord. He is the only one who will help you get through this, no matter how many friends and family you have. But he will take care of Tripp here with you and when he goes to Heaven. Prayers for you, Randy and Tripp.

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  103. Just beautiful and so heartbreaking on all levels. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  104. Today is my first time to your blog, and I am touched. I am crying right now because I am so touched by your words. Your faith is amazing, and I know you were chosen to be the parent of this perfect child!! I will pray for him to no longer be in pain, for the Lord's will to be done, and comfort for whatever his will may be <3

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  105. I couldn't even comment the first time I read this b/c I was crying to hard. Still had tears the 2nd time as well. Tripp will NEVER have to question his mama's love. I can see it and almost feel it through a computer screen. Praying daily for your brave, sweet boy and his precious mama.
    Terah in Florida

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  106. your poem is so incredibly beautifully written and it had me in tears. I am inspired by you as a mother and of your precious and brave son. I am in awe of such a small boy's impact on so many people. Tripp has such a great God-given purpose and he is fulfilling it each day. You are all in my prayers.

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  107. I've read your blog for a while now, after a friend shared it with me. I have never commented before now, but I have read and prayed for a long time now.

    I wanted to comment when I first read this post shortly after you published it, but your words struck me to the core and my heart was so touched that I just needed to let it sit for a bit.

    I can't imagine what you are going through, but your courage, your grace, your faith and your love for you little man shine through in everything you write. This poem is touching and shows your amazing strength and dedication.

    Tripp is one strong, amazing and awe inspiring little man and he is lucky to have you as his mommy.

    Praying for your peace and Tripp's comfort,
    Bri

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  109. Tears are streaming down my face now too. I just recently lost both my parents and had to watch them suffer through their own medical ordeals.Your poem brought back a lot for me.Tripp and your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

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  110. Just found your blog and have been reading about your sweet Tripp. The poem is so beautiful and tears are streaming down my face. As many comments stated above, I too am inspired by your dedication and love for your son. You are all in our prayers.

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  111. I am in tear over the amount of love that you showed in your poem. I am crying over feeling sorry for myself for stupid things when a poor child has to endure what your precious son has in his life. Not to mention you and your family. My God envelop you all in his gracious light.

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  112. Your love for him is pouring out of this poem. Thank you for reflecting Christ for all of us so clearly.


    Praying for mercy.

    Kim

    A friend of a friend of patrice

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  113. You and your precious son are AMAZING!

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  114. God Bless your sweet sweet little boy. He is beautiful.

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  115. My heart aches for Tripp, you, and your family! From this day on I will pray for all of you! Such a special boy and Mom!

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  116. From miles away, once again I sit and read your blog... tears streaming down my face. Not out of pity, but out of compassion. Our children are our best gifts, our biggest blessings. I leave your blog each time in complete awe of the strength you possess to endure this battle, these decisions, these heartaches and heartbreaks day in and day out. The Lord must have known you are what's best for your son, I'm not sure I'd have made it as far. I pray that you and your parents are able to feel the love and prayers so many of us send each and every day. The prayers for Tripp's comfort, the prayers for your peace. Though we are strangers, your son's life, his story, has touched me beyond measure. I thank you for the courage to share his journey.

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  117. I can't talk right now - because there is a huge lump in my throat! Good thing my fingers can type while tears are running down my face! Oh, how I am lifting your family up in prayer! God is good all the time - and when your little guy sees the Father face to face - he will be in His loving arms continually!
    It does my heart good to know that you are trusting in God's plan! You are a wonderful witness to others who read your blog. Stay close to God and His word and know that many are praying for you, Tripp and your family!
    "Our son" - Nikita Frederick went to heaven before we were able to adopt him. My "mother" heart aches for you - Big Hugs coming your way!
    Amy
    http://godsarrowsinourquiver.blogspot.com/2011/02/nikita-frederick-in-arms-of-jesus.html

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  118. Courtney...I read your blog for the very first time today and want you to know that I've prayed several times today for you, Tripp and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through but I pray that you feel the peace that only He can give to you. May He bless the time that you have with your sweet boy.

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  119. I've just started reading about this as of thirty minutes ago when I saw a friend say something about it. As I'm crying like never before and my heart is filled with despair, I ache for you. I pray that god is listening. That will be my prayer everynight for you, tripp, and your family. God bless you and that precious precious little boy.

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  120. It took a while for me to get through the poem because I couldn't see past my tears. I pray that Tripp can be comfortable and you can have the strength to get through these hard times. It definitely puts a different perspective on things for me when I think life is tough. I know that whenever that day comes, even if it is years from now, my mom will rock him in heaven. She never got to with me and I am sure she would love to. May God bless you and Tripp.

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  121. With all the emotions going on in my head, heart, & body, I can NOT imagine the sadness you must feel.
    I can't seem to dry my tears.

    God be with you, Tripp, & your family.

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  122. I am not sure if you get a chance to read all comments, but I hope you get a chance to read mine. I recently saw Tripp's story on Facebook and I have been so touched. He is such a happy boy given the circumstances. I have kept him in my every thought and prayer since. I am a 30 yr old mother of 3 and live in Sorrento, not too far from you. I lost my own mom to breast cancer when I was 6. She was 27. I was the oldest of 4. My younger siblings were 5,3 and 2 when she died. I have always questioned why God took her so young but after reading your poem, I think I know why. My mom's favorite thing to do was rock us. Even at 6, 5, 3 and 2 she rocked us all...feet dragging the floor and all! I believe now that God needed a special angel to rock the babies in heaven. I pray that Tripp will never need my mom to rock him, but if he does, know that she will love him, kiss him and rock him, just like she did us.

    God Bless you, Tripp and your family and friends.

    Brigette Kerr

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  123. It took me a really long time to finish this poem every time i even began it i cried and now a whole week after i first read it I am crying trying to respond. This dear sweet boy and you are sooo special. Your story is inspiring and I pray you get a little more time with your precious baby, but i pray for him he gets a lil time with you pain free but to be himself...Praying for a miracle. As a mom I cant imagine what its like to miss out on those tiny little things that so often us other moms seem to take for granted...You have made me appreciate my children more and touched many lives. I have already shared your story with many of my friends and we are all praying for you. God bless you and your entire family. God bless baby Tripp and Lord Please give some healing to this little boy. We pray in your name for a miracle for him. Allow him some time with his earthly family Lord to Play and heal and be pain free before you call him home Lord. Ease his suffering and help him with the cross you have had him carry Lord. Thank you Lord for letting me cross my internet path with Courtneys and sharing her story with us. You have used this family to touch the life of many and remind us all of the small things. This lil baby and his mother are angels in disguise and your lessons through them are not forgotten. Thank you for giving this precious baby such a wonderful and devoted mother. In Your name Lord Jesus, Amen.

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  124. I simply cannot imagine what it's like to see your baby in pain every single day -- torn between wanting him to be at peace, but never wanting to let him go. Sigh. It's just so unfair. You all wil be in my prayers.

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  125. This poem is beautiful, just perfect. I can't imagine how you feel. I know you want your little man to not hurt anymore at the same time you just want to keep him here and near for as long as you can. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to even imagine. Thanks for sharing this. Hope Tripp is feeling a little better this week. Praying always! Hugs for you both. Casi

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  126. Saw this on Target.com and though about Tripp:
    http://www.target.com/p/Sesame-Street-Let-s-Rock-Elmo/-/A-13437091#?lnk=Other_HP_091811_ESPOT-6_0|ESPOT-6

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  127. Wow, again WOW! Courtney - you are amazing and God is beaming with pride and love for you and Tripp. He will do all you ask and more. All I can say is you are HIS favorite =)

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  128. Dear, Sweet Courtney and Tripp.
    As I lay here with my 7 month old baby, there are tears streaming down my face. There are no words. Such a beautiful poem for your beautiful son. I admire your strength and faith tremendously. Sending you warmest thoughts and gentle hugs from Los Angeles.

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  129. This is truly the most beautiful raw thing I have ever read. I literally sat here crying reading this, bawling actually. Thinking of my healthy 18month old son sleeping in his room and just being grateful. No one should take a healthy child for granted. My heart is heavy for your family. No mother should have to write a poem like this, in fear of it coming true. You are an inspiration. My prayers are with little Tripp and yourself. Keep being strong for that little child, as it sounds like he is just as strong for you. <3

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  130. You are truly an amazing woman with a faith I can only dream of having. I pray God's richest blessings on you, Tripp, and the rest of your family. I pray that all those that read of your and Tripp's journey are inspired to love deeper, pray harder, and believe more. Blessings, peace and love be with you all.

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  131. My heart is aching and I am crying out loud... I send my prayers for You and your little soldier. He truly is fortunate to have You as his mother, Courtney. Blessings for You, Tripp and your family from Finland.

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  132. That;s beautiful Courtney!! ((hugs)) I know Heavenly Father is listening and hearing your prayers. He loves you and Tripp dearly!! He is there, make sure you lay your burdens at His feet. He knows you more than you will ever realize!! Heavenly Father loves his little children, both big and small, but his littlest He holds near and dear. Tripp has been sent here to you, it wasn't an accident, he is your special miracle guy :0) You are so blessed to have him. I have started reading all of your journey and its amazing. I am grateful you are sharing.
    Hugs and Prayers from Arizona.
    Rachel
    matthewrachelstarch(dot)blogspot(dot)com

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  133. Courtney,
    This poem is absolutely the most beautiful thing I have read. You have an extreme amount of strength, but only a sliver compared to Tripp's. You are truly an inspiration.
    As I read your blog, I just want to reach out and hug you and Tripp. I want to take away his pain, if only for a day so he can be a kid and play. It truly breaks my heart that he cannot. God does have a plan, that is obvious. You, too, are an angel for keeping your faith and staying so strong. But there is no other way.. There are just no words to put how I am feeling right now. Thank you Courtney for everything you have done for Tripp and for giving me a glimpse of what is in your heart.
    I am praying for peace for you and for sweet baby Tripp. Give him a kiss for me..

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  134. As I sit here pregnant with my 3rd child, I feel more sensitive towards your feelings and what it must be like to be in your situatuion and Tripp's. I read this poem and I am crying uncontrollably trying to catch my breath. My heart goes out to you and your baby boy. If I could give you both hugs I would. But all I can do is pray, for God to hold you and your baby boy and wrap you in his warmest holy hug! I pray in his name that baby Tripp can make a peaceful journey to heaven when his time is to come. I pray in his name for you Courtney that your journey here on earth stays strong and as peaceful as it can be. You are such a strong mommy and I admire so much about you and your beautiful life with Tripp. I can't even really think of words to say, except just know I am one more person out there in this huge world, praying for you and your sweet little guy!! May God be with you and you keep your faith as strong for ever and ever!!
    -Love, Melissa

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  135. I admire you very much. I as a new mother would not know how to face what you do everyday. Your faith and strength are so wonderful, may peace be with you and Tripp these days he has here with you.

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  136. Bless your family, and especially little Tripp. What a fine young man. What an amazing poem too. Tripp's smile lights up the entire page when he's on it. May the Lord give you a strength that is beyond understanding.

    Chad Rainey
    Matthew 5:8
    www.prayforwalker.com

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  137. Words can not describe the emotions I feel after reading your poem. It is the most touching thing I have ever read. May God be with you and your son.

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  138. i hope you got this pinky promise :) your the best mommy anyone could have ever asked for esecially tripp..God Bless You... and im so terribly sorry for your loss even tho is is somewhat of a gift from God to take tripps pain away

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  139. there are no words... only a heart aching for you and your sweet Tripp.

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  140. God bless and keep you and your mom. The road has been long and yet not quite long enough. I know in my heart he is whole and without pain and so this is a time to rejoice. And though nothing will fill the void of his absence, I hope that thought brings some comfort. No better hands could he be in than our Father's and the knowledge that you will join him there one day. Live in peace, knowing you did all you could possibly do for him here...the suffering is over and next time you see him you'll both be whole again.

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  141. I pray for the Lord to hold you close and carry you through till you will one day see your precious angel again. Your poem is absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful. Know that you were Tripp's angel here on earth.
    I pray for peace and comfort for you all.

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  142. I just today started reading about you and your sweet angel Tripp. I am so sorry I did not read earlier, and now that I did read it all I cannot help but weep, weep for you and the tragic loss of Tripp. It breaks my heart to see a bright, spirited light such as Tripp snuffed out too soon. He was so loved and you are without a doubt one of the most dedicated Mommys. Blessings with you dear Courtney, may you find solace in knowing that sweet Tripp is pain free in Gods arms now. May you find Peace in knowing you will meet again, under more fortunate circumstances, Tripp was happy and you are the reason. From one Mommy to another, hugs and blessings. Rest in Peace Tripp. :*(

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  143. Tears are flowing...What a wonderful boy Tripp was...the way you captured him in this poem makes me feel like ive known him forever...your words are beautifully written and what a great tribute to your beautiful baby boy...my heart aches for you as a mother and I am praying for your strength at this time..God bless you...You were the best mommy that Tripp could of ever asked for :)

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  144. I am so very sorry for your loss. You are an amazing mama and so very inspiring. There need to be more mothers like you in this world. God bless your son and you and your family. My prayers are with you tonight.

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  145. Courtney you are my Hero! I am praying for you and your family and may not get the chance to give you a hug tomorrow but my spirit is hugging you. Never doubt how amazing of a mother you are!

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  146. You are such a STRONG woman, stronger than anyone should ever EVER have to be. I pray that you find the peace that you seek. I know that Tripp is up above all of us watching, playing and smiling. He is no longer in pain. My heart breaks for you and your family.

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  147. Courtney my heart hurts so much for you. i wish i could reach through the screen and hug you!! you are an amazing mother! your family has just touched our hearts! we will continue to pray for comfort and healing. i wish i could've met Tripp and yet somehow through your blog we all kinda felt like we did!i loved his smile and he always showed us just how precious life is! i am so sorry for your loss of such a special little boy! thank you Courtney for sharing him with us!

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  148. My heart is breaking for you. That was lovely. May God be with you as you heal from the loss of Tripp. Much Love, Tracey

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  149. You are such an amazing woman Courtney. I have no doubt that God has heard you and is loving your sweet boy at this very moment. You will continue to be in my prayers. May God bless you, comfort you and keep you during these difficult days.

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  150. I have followed Tripps journey from the day he was born and reading this poem has touched my heart in a way I can't describe. He was a loving baby boy who loved his mommy dearly and was always up for a long days rock. You did all you could till he took his last little breath now I pray for you to know he is with the very best. God will take care of him now that he is free of pain and looking down on ur every move.. He can run and play with all the other children now.. though it is very painful as I lost my baby sister at birth time doesn't heal all wounds so that is the last quote I will say.. it is everyday night hour minute and second that you will think if him. Time can pass with 20 years and he will always be the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last thing on your mind before bedtime. At birthdays and dinners and graduations for others he will be on your mind but just remember like I did and still do he your baby little angle will always be near.. in your bed with you smiling, walking with you on strolls, and most of all sitting in your lap when you are rocking in his favorite chair.. I pray for you everyday still that all your stress worry and pain subside.. it will be hard but it will get better trust in God!!

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  151. Courtney, you and Tripp have been an inspiration to the entire world. God gave you his most precious gift to watch over while on earth, little Tripp. God trusted YOU to take care of His child now you MUST trust God to take care of your child. I cannot image how hard this is for you, I have no idea, all I know is that my heart breaks for you and your family. I was blessed to be able to meet you and your mom at Tripp's funeral. I am so thankful to God that I had the opportunity not only meet two of the most wonderful ladies in the world but also hug both of y'all. God never takes us to something that He does not take us through it. He will see you through your pain and sorrow. Keep Mother Mary in mind as she also suffered immensely. The world has fallen in love with y'all. Much love and hugs to you. Please if there is anything I could possibly do to help you thru this, do not hesitate to call upon me.

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  152. I just found your story two days ago through Pinterest. I cannot even imagine the struggles and journey your family faced the last few years. Tripp is a beautiful little angel now and he will be watching and waiting for his angel here on Earth to join him again someday. What an incredible faith you have had and you are such an inspiration to us all. My family will keep you in our prayers through this difficult time. Know that your story has touched thousands and I hope that you can find so much peace knowing that he is at the side of Jesus now. He will be loved as much as he was here on Earth. God Bless you and your family always.

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  153. my heart is breaking and this is a beautiful and perfect poem. you are amazing and im sooo very sorry. God be with you and your family i know you will be with him again. he is an amazing angel now. thank you for all you and precious Tripp have taught me.

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  154. "Oh how the flower wilts in the gloomy rain, only to glow again at the first brilliant rays of the sun. Serving its purpose and place, until it is time to return to that from which it came. Thus is the life of a flower."
    Just stole this from a FB friend. It made me think of Tripp. You were most definitely the sunshine in his rainy days, as he was the most beautiful and fragile of flowers. And somewhere over the rainbow, he blooms in God's garden.

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  155. Tears as I look at his photos and read your story. Rest in peace Tripp, such a beautiful boy.

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  156. I have never cried so much for my entire life but for the last 2 days I have teared so much for reading your blog. My heart aches for both of you and ur whole family for the lost. You and Tripp are both my heroes. You guys showed me how beautiful life is, how pure a soul can get and how far love can ever reach. For your request and prayer for GOD, I know he heard you, and will take really good care of him, never let him feel pain again, will assign him with the best drummer title, will rock him if he needs, and teach him everything that he didn't get to learn especially calling you mommy. In the end, I can almost see him smile and flying around you to try to hold you as an angel. You will meet him one day and he will be greeting you witht his biggest smile on that beautiful face. I hope one day, I will get to meet you both up there as well.

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  157. Courtney,

    I hope you are reflecting on your poem you wrote about a year ago as you struggle though this hard time and the hard feelings you have. I pray that your heart is lightened from the pain enough to know and see and feel that Tripp is with you always. You hold him so much closer than those of us with healthy kids. In our community a young boy of 12 left this life by choice, it is so sad to me to know mothers like you and this boys mom have to feel a loss but you help teach all the rest of us just how precious life, family and loved ones are to us. I will hug my daughters each and everyday and think of the love you radiate from you love for you son. Thank you for a life time lesson. I love you and don't even know you. Your awesome.
    Debi - Idaho

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  158. I hope you git to go with youer babby boy some day and I hpoe youer and you are happy and tirpp I love and I reed youer posst aver day I pary for tirpp aver night love cllie bourgeois hope you have a god day???????
    end eb now miss youer possed

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  159. Courtney i cant even begin to explain how u and Tripp have touched my life. I learned about Tripp a few weeks ago and not a day goes by that i dont cry for him. I look at pictures and videos of him almost everyday because i feel like i am looking at an angel. I cant even begin to imagine what u go thru everyday missing ur baby, but i hope u are comforted in the fact that he is at peace now playing in the sky waiting for u. When i say my prayers at night i always say a prayer for Tripp and i ask God that he takes good care of him as u did in his life. Tripp will always always always be in my heart and i will never ever forget him as long as i live, i cant imagine anyone will ever touch my life and my heart as Tripp has. Bless U Courtney and your precious baby, and thank u from the bottom of my hear for sharing Tripp with us, he was and continues to be the most precious gift

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  160. Wow. I stumbled upon your site when looking for a photo of a blister like mine. I started reading, and couldn't stop. I've never heard of EB before tonight, but my grandson just turned 14 months, and after reading about your precious Tripp I thanked God (again and more heartfelt than usual) that he is a healthy little boy. I wish the same had been for your baby boy, Courtney. I'm so sorry for the pain that you and Tripp had to go through. There are no words, but just know that your little boy's story has educated one more person about EB. I will be passing it along too. I suffer from a disease that is not well known either, so I understand the importance of "passing it on". God Bless you honey. If it helps any, I really think Tripp had the very best Mommy he could have had, and I also believe he is the little angel riding on your shoulder at all times. A bond like yours stretches across time and death.

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