Saturday, September 24, 2011

Dear Bubba

I used to treasure my life,
Long before there was you.
I was selfish and clueless.
And invincible too.

I carried you in my belly,
While I fed my big behind.
With thoughts of an unhealthy baby,
Not once crossing my mind.

I was oblivious to the real world,
But my dreams were coming true. 
I was having a child of my own,
Anticipating days of "me and you."

You might think that the words "EB"
Hit me like a ton a bricks.
But it took Mommy a long time,
To realize this wasn't something I could fix. 

So here I am two years later,
Staring at your beautiful, raw face. 
Praying to God so desperately,
To let me take your place. 

You see, my Dear Bubba... 
I still treasure my life- but at a different length. 
Because now YOU are the center,
My heart, my soul, my strength.

I would go before you. 
I promise you I would. 
I'd give up everything here, 
If it meant that I could. 

I would take all of your pain. 
And put aside my dismay.
I would give up my life in a second, 
If it meant that you could stay. 

Free of sores, bandages and pain,
Just like a healthy boy.
If you could talk, sing, run or jump,
And live a life you could enjoy.

You might think I'm just saying this,
Because that's what a "mommy" would do.
But I mean every single word-
I'd give my life for you. 

"He won't live to be a year."
Those words cut like knives.
But little did they know...
You were put here to touch lives.

Oh, Bubba, it's so unfair. 
And everyone thinks so, too. 
It's a hard thing to comprehend, 
Why all of this suffering was given to you. 

And as the months have passed, 
I realize more and more. 
Why you were given this cross,
And why you're impossible to ignore.

Only you, Bub, could do it.
Your will to fight is like no other.
No one could possibly take your place,
Not even me, your mother. 

So even if I make bargains with God,
And beg and cry and plead.
I know He'll never let us trade. 
For He knew your role, indeed.

There's no doubt that you're a saint. 
Free of sin, innocent, and pure.
And this, Dear Bubba, I promise you...
For EB- we'll find a cure. 

I don't know how long it will take, 
Or if it will be too late. 
I do know one thing, though. 
You don't deserve to wait. 

So here is my prayer, God. 
I know, right? Not again?
"Give him peace here or peace in Heaven, 
My Dear Bubba."   

-Written by Mommy



  1. Tripp is a Saint and you Courtney are his angel taking special care of him. This is beautifully written and I cried as I read it. God Bless you and Tripp, you both deserve a special place in heaven! My prayers are always with Tripp, you, and your family.

  2. My almost 3-year-old daughter saw sweet Tripp and said, "That baby's sick. We gotta go to his house and make sure he's ok and make him feel better." <3

    This is a beautiful poem. My baby boy passed away in January. It was unexpected, and he only suffered for 2 days, but I would gladly have taken his place. It's not fair that he only got 2 months, and I'm still kicking at 30 years old. And it's not fair that sweet Tripp has only known pain in his life. I don't understand why these things happen, but your positive attitude and faith is amazing.

    You and your family are never far from my thoughts. So many hugs to you.

  3. Wow Courtney! What beautiful words! I know Tripp knows how lucky he is to have you for a Mommy. I love how much you love him!

  4. I am praying for that beautiful baby, and for you too. What a wonderful Mother you are with such a special baby.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Beautiful!!! You know this already, but you and Tripp are both amazing!!!

  7. Courtney.....I am sure that you have NO idea how many lives you and Tripp have influenced. My four year old grandson comes over on Thursdays and always asks "can I watch Tripp play the drums"? It is so precious to me that you choose to share your life and your love with all of us.

  8. Amazing Courtney! The poem you wrote for your little man is awesome. What makes it even better, is knowing that every word of it was true. Your love for Tripp is an inspiration. I think about little Tripp every day at work, at home, or just about anywhere. I will be keeping your little man in my heart forever...he has touched so many people. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  9. Courtney, that is the most beautiful poem I have ever read. Your little boy is truly a gift from God and definitely here to inspire and bless other people. God bless you and Tripp!

  10. I cried and cried. I am praying for God's will and His strength, peace, and understanding. We have never met but my heart is full of love for all of you. I wish there was more I could do...Until then, I will continue to pray

  11. Courtney... your words are so beautiful to your son. God does know his plan for Tripp, and he knows your "role" as well. God is so good, he gave Tripp YOU! Hugs to you tonight Courtney! You are good gift to all of us too. <3 Love, Meme

  12. Wow is all I can say. I am praying for all of you. I think of you guys every day. Praying for you, praying for a cure.

  13. You and Tripp might be the strongest people I know. I wish I could be half as strong as you are.

  14. God does have his plan for you both. He has blessed you with each other. Keep the faith and we'll keep praying here in Egan, La.

  15. So heartbreaking! I wish Tripp didn't have to live in pain, I pray hard for a cure for EB.
    The love you feel for him is just so strong I feel it in every post you write.

    God Bless and I pray one day you can squeeze Tripp in a HUGE hug.

  16. That is so sweet. You are such a great mommy!!! Praying for you and Tripp!!!

  17. Oh Courtney, this is SO beautiful and straight from your heart. We pray for sweet Tripp every day and are praying for you, too. May God give you peace and encouragement, and am praying that He will open the door on the GCSF option for Tripp. Please give that sweet boy a hug from his Team in TX!


  18. You are right, he is a saint and he has done so much thus far in such a short time! I don't understand all of this either but I do know that we all must do whatever we can to definitely should motivate us all to reach out, to do better and to maintain our priorities! Sending your family love from our family...

  19. Courtney, this is so very beautiful. Your journey is showing me and others over and over what being a parent and living life is supposed to be about. I am so grateful to you and your little sweet boy for allowing us to share in your lives. Thank you for blessing us with your wisdom. God bless and know you are lifted in thought and prayer so very often. Much love from SC, Laurie

  20. While it hurts to imagine the pain little Tripp is in, I am always thankful that he has such a wonderful Mother to take care of him. He is so obviously loved and adored. I think of and pray for Tripp several times a day. I pray that God will answer your heartfelt prayer, either peace here on earth or in Heaven with Him.

  21. I pray, pray, pray every night for your sweet little Tripp. My heart aches for the fight your little man has gone through and how much he and you have had to endure. I pray God heals him and takes away his pain. Thank you for sharing him with us. I love him!

  22. I adore you. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. I think the world of you and Tripp. Much love!

  23. Tripp is so lucky to have you for his Mommy.

  24. Beautiful, my dear! I have been following Tripp's journey for a while now but have never commented until now because I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said. So I just add my love and prayers to the multitude that I know go toward you guys every single day.

  25. I can't wait to serve at your (you and Tripp's) feet in Heaven! We love you!

  26. Praying for you and your little guy. As my eyes welled up with tears reading through another post of yours, I didn't feel sorrow for you, I felt joy and inspiration that you are putting this into God's hands and that you know that Tripp has impacted so many lives and hearts. YOU, my dear, have opened many doors by blogging like this to educate and spread awareness to those like myself that never heard of EB before. Thank You!

  27. You write so beautiful, but I am sure when you have something so precious to write about it comes easily. I wish the best for your family.

  28. Beautiful poem, Courtney. Thinking and praying for you 2 always. I love your little bubba.

  29. God answers prayers! Keep praying!! God bless you & your family!!

  30. ((((((( hugs))))))))

    Comforting hugs from me to you, dear Courtney...

  31. Courtney--I am new to following your blog and wanted to write to tell you what an inspiration you and your son Tripp are. You are right -- he was put on this world for a reason and I too believe God has a special plan for him. I am so sorry that the cross he bears is so painful -- it breaks my heart -- but he has been blessed with a steadfast, loyal and unbelievably gentle, patient and caring mother (and grandparents, too) and you all lighten his load a bit every day. Be strong, and on the especially difficult days, gather strength and courage from all of your followers. You all are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

  32. I have tear rolling. I pray for the same thing as your mom Tripp, peace soon for you sweet boy. And hugs to you Courtney, it's so incredibly hard to watch your babies in pain, I cannot even imagine yours or his.

  33. You are the bravest lady I know...I am just in awe of what you do....My heart aches everytime I read a post...Could you send me your address....I would love to send you something..

  34. Dear friend....could I please repost this on my blog with your name as the author and your blog url? I am so touched beyond words, beyond comprehension....your love is a sacrificial love that so few know, or understand. This was so amazing...thank you for changing my heart through your words! Please email me at ~ if I could repost. Much love ~ alice

  35. So beautiful Courtney. I weep for you, my heart heavy for your pain. I am praying for Tripp's healing. It would be beyond fabulous for an EB cure as soon as possible; for sweet Tripp and all others with EB.

  36. Sweet Courtney, family and Tripp, all EB families, you DO change lives. Oh how I wish we could wash EB off the face of earth.
    Love and hugs

  37. Tear. Seriously. Courtney you are amazing. I wish I lived closer I would come visit. Seriously! You are amazing and an inspiration.. as is Tripp! I think I fall in love with you all more and more when I come to your page. I wish that there was a cure for EB so Tripp would not have to be so uncomfy.. Prayers..

  38. My heart goes out to you, baby Tripp and your family. I have been in this similiar position with a similiar prayer. You have a brave and strong little man who has touched many. May all the prayers going up for you and especially sweet Tripp give you both the strength needed to keep going.

  39. This is beautiful...thank you for sharing. Lots of love and virtual hugs for you and Tripp!

    God Bless!

  40. Beautiful poem. You are amazing and so is Tripp. I will continue to pray that he is given peace here or in Heaven. I love to read your posts and see how much you love that boy. It is inspiring and contagious. God knew what He was doing when He chose YOU to be Tripp's mom. I know I have never met you but I feel like I know you as one of my best friends. Thank you for sharing your life and journey. It has touched me beyond words. Love you and Tripp very much.

  41. Tripp is very lucky to have a mom like you. And I pray and so badly want peace for Tripp as well. Breaks my heart that he is hurting. Peace to all of you.

  42. You're an inspiration and I pray for you and your family often. I look forward to the day where I experience the love you have for Tripp with my own future children.

  43. Courtney,

    Your words were so beautiful and touched me in such a profound way. I feel your love for your son in every word, every phrase. Thank you so much for sharing that with all of us.

    I send you love and hugs. And most of all -- I pray for peace for you both. You're in my thoughts and prayers, always.


  44. I stopped by for a visit after seeing a post about your blog on the Rainbows and Butterflies blog. I wanted to pass on a little hope... Last year I first became familiar with EB when a new kindergardener started school. This little guy has dealt with all of the challenges EB sends his way. With some accommodations, the student is now a successful 1st grader who is smart, funny, determined and fighting all the odds against him. I will keep your family in my thoughts and hope that your little one defies the odds too!

  45. So beautiful written. Such an amazing little boy!

  46. I am in tears, this is so beautiful... I don't know how you do it. I will pray extra hard for yall tonight. I really hope for him to have a normal happy life, I pray for his pain to go away, God knows whats best, but I know it must be hard to trust.

  47. Such a beautiful poem for such a beautiful soul.
    Through my tears I clasp my hands and ask God for peace for this brave boy and his family.

    God bless

  48. I pray for Tripp to find peace. And I pray for you, too.
    I believe that Tripp is a living saint and you are the most amazing person I have ever seen.

  49. I am new here, I saw your button and little description from Alice's blog and I must say your son has my heart!
    This poem is so touching and I feel your pain.
    I will be praying and praying for Tripp, for a cure, for pain relief and for His Spirit to be with you two comforting and guiding you.

    In Jesus Christ,

  50. Yes, like C O G I am also here via Alice's blog. I appreciate your patience Thank God.
    We do pray for you and the little one. May God Have mercy upon him and you.
    With love
    Phil & Ann

  51. Sorry to just get to responding; terminally busy over here as well as usual. What a beautiful understanding you have so sweetly articulated here. I try to remind myself that we are God's servants, not business partners! We don't have the capacity He has to see the entire picture in its glory like he does. It is for Him to see and for us to trust. That is the hardest part of faith for me... I wanna see the view, too! I hold tight to the promise that I'll get to see, with Bella holding my hand, on that glorious day of reunion... and when I do, all these years down here will seem like a blink of an eye. I love that promise. I am so honored to walk this journey with you. God bless Blogs, and God bless you and your sweet Bubba.

  52. Courtney, I just started reading your blog and my heart goes out to you and Tripp! You are such a strong womand and Tripp is a strong boy! There needs to be more people like you two in the world. I pray for you every day =)
    Please give Tripp hugs for me! I see him and I just want to wrap my arms around him and love on him! What a sweet, amazing little boy you have. He was blessed with a strong mother like you. You were meant to be together! Take care!

  53. Wow! Pure love. Beautiful words! You are an amazing mother.

  54. This comment has been removed by the author.

  55. This comment has been removed by the author.

  56. Dear Courntey & Tripp,

    You are two of the strongest & most inspirational people I have ever heard of. Your story has touched me in so many ways. And although I have never met you in real life, I feel that I know you from your stories, blogs, & photo's. I think about the two of you & pray for you often.

    This poem is amazing, & I have shared it with many people, including my facebook.

    I hope & pray that there is a painless future for the both of you. You are truly amazing! Faith, Hope, Hugs, Love, & Prayers!!!!!


  57. I found you through Alice's post today- so glad I did. What an inspiration. Hugs, blessings & peace on you all!

  58. This is so sad and I am so sorry. I hope that many others can find their inspiration through you. Stay strong.


  59. Beautiful, just beautiful. He is so lucky to have you, and you are so lucky to have him.

  60. simply beautiful. certainly the presence of god is with you both. your sweet son is nothing short of a saint among us and you are the best mother god could have chosen to love and care for him.

    god bless y'all!
    w-s, nc

  61. Truly beautiful. I know you meant every word.

    Praying for y'all!

  62. Wow, that poem was a tear jerker! My heart is heavy for you and sweet baby Tripp, and I pray that you both find relief soon. Never stop believing.

  63. Just beautiful. You are so strong and I'm praying for you guys!

  64. It touched my heart and every word in it is so-so-so true. No one else could carry this burden. Non of us would be strong enough. I pray for You Tripp (I have not done it since my childhood), but for You I will do it with all my heart.

    1. You are definitely one of the strongest women/mommy's I have ever come across. This poem is absolutely amazing & beautiful. I pray that you have peace & strength today & the days to come. <3