Thursday, June 14, 2012

Today makes 5 months...

...since my baby left my arms to live with Jesus.  
So instead of writing about how sad I am... I'm going to thank God for the 2 years and 8 months He gave me with him. 
It doesn't take away the hurt or the pain, or the fact that I miss him more than words can say... but I really am grateful that I was chosen to be Tripp's Mommy for his short time on Earth. 

So today, I will share my MOST favorite video again. 
Just because this is the Tripp that I hope heaven is getting to enjoy. 


I love you and miss you, my Bubba. 

Love, 
Photobucket

95 comments:

  1. Precious video. I pray for you every night and I just hope that you feel the prayers coming from so many people.

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  2. He is beautiful and full of love for his mama.

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  3. God bless you Courtney. You amaze me daily!! My prayers for you!

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  4. THAT is the cutest thing I have ever seen! What a cutie pie! Praying for you sweetheart! You are loved more than you know!

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  5. loved the video...precious little angel. Thank you for sharing yourself and Tripp with us, Courtney. Not enough words to describe how moving your story is...he really has made such a difference in our lives!

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  6. That's the cutest thing I've ever seen lol too precious :)

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  7. What a wonderful video. Thank you for sharing it. I have no doubt that Heaven is enjoying Tripp's sense of humour at this very moment.

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  8. I am so sorry for this. Im a 16yrld girl from finland, and i have 4 little sisters and brothers. i have seen them all grow, since the youngest one is just 12 months old. I can barely imagine the pain of parents who can't do anything even they would...i'd do so much to give little Bubba back, if i could do anything. Prayers 4u, vera
    (verasi@windowslive.com) <3

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  9. Dear Courtney, you're such a brave lady...I admire how you are still able to keep your stiff upper lip and carry on with your life no matter how hard it is for you. I wish I was half as brave. And I wish that it will get easier for you soon.
    Love and prayers.
    P.S.: This video is awesome :-)
    He is such a cutie.

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  10. So wise beyond his years, and such a little ham!
    Tripp has beautiful eyes : )
    Thank you for sharing!

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  11. Love <3 continued prayers....little Tripp is not forgotten.
    Love from OH
    Heather

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  12. It's a crazy thing how children can change your whole perspective on life!

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  13. There are so many moments you and your son are in my thoughts. I believe I will think of the two of you for the rest of my life. I pray we get to see him again someday and that the in between blesses you immensely!

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  14. Such a beautiful spirit. Very smart little guy. Hugs mama! You did incredible things with him and I must say, I AM REALLY GLAD you are his mommy too.

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  15. you were the best mommy actually is the best mommy ever we love the person you are ur the best keep it up we miss trip out her too he was such a smart little boy he super adorable <3

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  16. Oh how sweet! Your Bubba is rolling his eyes and laughing in Heaven to see that this video gives you so much delight! It does bring a smile to my face seeing how he loved you so so so much! You two were meant for each other for sure!! Love to you Courtney~

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  17. How precious!! Thank you for sharing such an adorable video!!!

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  18. Courtney & Anita ~

    I just watched that beautifully, hilarious ; ) video, which then lead me to several of your other ones. I have never seen such a perfect love. You both gave so fully, and completely of yourselves.

    And Tripp...my goodness, Tripp. Of course, he gave, and gave, and gave. In all of those videos, the light in all 3 of you shines so brightly. You all radiate off of each other. You actually fed off of one another.

    I too, am so very sorry for the endless pain you are experiencing, but am so happy for all those beautiful memories of which no one can ever take away from you both.

    My love to you always,

    Jen

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  19. LOVE how he loves to make you laugh!!!

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  20. Oh, my goodness......he is just the cutest little guy! I laughed and cried at the same time. God Bless you Courtney, he was so lucky to have you as his mama. <3

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    Replies
    1. The soulful connection you two had/have is so evident in this video. What a blessing. Hugs to you!

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  21. What a sweetheart. I am SO SO glad that you took so much video of Tripp and so many pictures to remind you of the little blessing that God gave you to care for. Whenever I read your blogs, I always think that you were specifically designed to be Tripp's mommy. Thinking of you often Courtney.

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  22. He is so funny, beautiful, nd smart. I am sure he is entertaining everyone in heaven!

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  23. I have never met you or Tripp. But I fell in love with that little cutie pie from the first time I read you blog. Tripp was a lucky little boy to have you. Gold Bless.

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  24. Sweetest boy. I love this - my other favorites are the one of him playing his little drum set, and the one where he's sitting up after bath/dressing change and he's wiggling his little body. He looked so happy - despite what horrible pain he was in. I attribute that strength first to the Lord, and then to you. You were such a great mom to him, Courtney - you loved him selflessly, and he loved you the exact same way.

    I just read your other post. I'm so glad you have a good Christian counselor to see. I was thinking about you just this week - please know that I'm praying for you to have peace and strength, and that the Lord will comfort you each day.

    Love you (from TX!)
    Laura

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  25. Gosh I just love him so much!!!!! I could watch this over and over. God bless you Courtney! Praying for you all the time.

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  26. Loved how he sassed his Mommy! He loves you so much, Courtney. His love for you will never leave you.

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  27. What a little ham! I loved the way he'd clasp his hands and do the little eye roll, then stick out his tongue - he sure had a great sense of humor! Thanks so much for sharing this, because it brought a smile to my face AND made me laugh! :)

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  28. A match truly made in heaven...a wonderful Mommy to a wonderful son--you both were so blessed to have been given each other!! I feel grateful for your sharing your little man with us--you both are unforgettable. (That video is truly precious!!!) Take care, Courtney.

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  29. That is truly a precious video. I can see why you love it. Yes...you were blessed to be given this miracle child, but he was also blessed to be given an angel mother. You are a valued and special woman to be given this child. Your service to Tripp will be greatly rewarded, and your Heavenly Father knew you would love and devote yourself to Tripp (that's why He sent Tripp to you.) Sending prayers your way.

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  30. such a beautiful boy full of spunk!

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  31. Thank you for showing us the video. It brings back happier times. I remember when he would bounce and
    Play music, and kind of bob his head. I will never see Elmo again, without smiling because of remembering Tripp, but feel sad, also, thinking of tripp.

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  32. Beautiful little boy. Keeping you and Tripp in my thoughts.

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  33. Courtney, I loved that video. I continue to pray for you and lift you up. Your posts are beautiful, and you and Tripp had the most special relationship.

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  34. That is one of the cutest videos I have ever seen! I love his little spunky personality.

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  35. Praying for you!!! Love seeing his pictures and videos. Thanks for letting us be a part of Tripp's precious life!!!

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  36. Praying for you Courtney... I know how hard anniversary type days are... our Samuel went to Heaven 3 1/2 years ago... That is such a precious video... YOu are such a good mommy... You can see how much he loved you in the smile on his face... Keep persevering friend... Praying for you!

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  37. oh!!!!!! he is so so precious!!! I am sure he is up there, making everybody laugh!! thank you for sharing him with us Coutrney. He has touched and changed so so many lives. you are truly blessed to be the mommy of such an angel, who has brought so many people back in God's path. Thank you courtney. God bless you!
    Christiana (cyprus)

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  38. Oh, how I love this video,Tripp was just the most adorable little boy, thanks for sharing it. I miss him sooo much too. Praying for you Courtney, I´ll never forget you and Tripp.
    Love from Spain

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  39. Dearest Courtney: Think about you guys every single day. Hoping and Praying that the pain is a little less with each passing day. We all miss Tripp so much. Hang in there sweet family. Love and Peace Leah and Tabby's Nana

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  40. Courtney, I am thankful you shared your precious son with us. It was and continues to be a privilege to pray for your family. I cannot help but think of Tripp when I see or hear Elmo! Am thankful that I will be in Heaven with him one day and get to tell him how incredibly proud I am of him.

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  41. Adorable :)
    Your Tripp was special and so are you, Courtney.

    Hugs

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  42. What a precious video - I agree with Jennifer who said she laughed and cried at the same time. Courtney - your laugh is infectious - please don't lose that in your deep sorrow. Lots of Love from the Callahan's in Alexandria, VA

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  43. I love him. Too cute Courtney. He is doing the same thing right now, just somewhere else. He is looking over you everyday.

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  44. That is so very precious! What a blessing to have had him in your life. I cannot imagine how hard your road is right now. Just hang on to the knowledge that you will see him again one day!

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  45. beautiful! So adorable. Thank you for sharing it ~ he's lucky to have you for a mama, and I know he's being just as silly as he watches over you now.

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  46. Courtney, I have to say you are one amazing woman.

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  47. Oh Courtney! He is so stinkin' cute! Still praying for you.

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  48. I miss you bubby Tripp - please wrap your wings around you mummy today and everyday. x

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  49. I just saw the clip of Tripp dancing to Elmo on his mat - I have tears rolling down my cheeks. My heart breaks for you all

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  50. Courtney, you were blessed, for sure, and Tripp was blessed with the best mommy ever! God picked you & Tripp for each other. <3

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  51. Omg what a sweetheart! I look at my topher and feel blessed to be his mom. Your example has taught me to be a better mother! Enjoy every second. My son was born April 6th 2010. I did lose a child to adoption but the heartack i go thru is nothing like you *HUGS* let me know if i can help

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  52. He is such a beautiful boy! You have been in my thoughts so much. I pray for your own healing as the time passes. You are an amazing mother!

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  53. Aww he was such a stinker! Stinkin adorable rotten cutie boy!! Love him!!! And love your laugh. This video shows what a character he was and your laugh shows the pure joy he brought you. Thanks for sharing:)

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  54. When I was a little girl, I would take walks through the cemetery with my Grandmother, where her parents and brother weer buried. She came from a family of 12. And her youngest brother, Julius, died when he was only two. He had a very bad accident, that my great-grandmother believed was always her fault. My grandma would tell me that her mother would cry herself to sleep every night, and couldn't make it through the day because of her sadness and depression. Then one night, she woke up and saw Julius at the edge of her bed. And she said that he smiled at her, and said that he was okay, God was taking care of him, and that he was always watching over her. He also asked her not to cry anymore for him, because he was okay. She never cried for him again. That story has always stayed with me. And I can't help but think that Tripp wants you to be okay, and know that he is also okay. It breaks my heart that you are so sad. I just want to hug you and cry with you, and I don't even know you.
    I've never believed in God or religion. But ever since I started reading your blog, it's really made me believe. I feel like I've become a better person through you and your family. You are a beautiful person. You deserve so much happiness for the sacrifices you have made in your life.
    Bless you, Bless Tripp, Bless your family.

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  55. What a cute and sweet video of your Tripp! I have to agree with LeeAnn, he was blessed with a wonderful mother! I strive everyday to be as good of a mom as you are. Thank You for reminding me how precious life is.

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  56. Awww. I miss him and I didn't even know him in real life. :*(

    Hugs!

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  57. He was such a silly guy! My little silly guy will turn 3 in August. You were very lucky to have your little man. Keep on keepin on, Courtney!

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  58. That was beautiful!!!! What. Gift he truely was and is to not only you, but the thousands of people he has touched!! Thank you for opening your life and allowing us to see what a wonderful person Tripp was and the joy and love he gave to you and all of us!! He was and is truely a blessing and I will continue to pray that you one day will have some peace, no you can never fill that void, but one day you will be able to be at peace with it!!! We love you and know that your little man has touched our lives in so many ways!!! Much Love from Texas!!!

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  59. So sweet! He obviously has an amazing personality and I'm sure there's a little more laughter in Heaven because of him. Praying for you!

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  60. This is one of my fav videos too!! His personality is so cute :)

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  61. too cute! Courtney, he is precious! I'm so glad you have videos like this for memories :) Keep your chin up and know he is smiling down on you, free of pain.

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  62. I cannot stop smiling. What a precious gift you had for awhile. We all know his is in heaven watching over you, your mom and family. I visited his grave site a week ago and I felt so much peace with him. God bless you Courtney, you are an amazing lady that God trusted with Tripp. Hugs. Edmay Mayers

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  63. It's no coincidence I was thinking of you and praying for you specifically on Thursday. I didn't understand why you'd been on my heart that day. But the Lord knew.

    Meant to share this sweet lady with you a few weeks ago. Her name is Jennie Edwards and she, too, lost her first Baby. She led us through a Bible study and memorization of 1 Peter this year. Something you said in one of your recent posts reminded me so much of Jennie and the testimony she gave in the first study she led for 1 Peter. Here is her blog:

    http://www.babycarlisleedwards.blogspot.com/

    On the right hand side are all the audio clips from the Bible Study, but the second one down is the first one Jennie led (1 Peter 1:1-7), the one where she gave the testimony of the life and death of her firstborn. The session is only 50 minutes or so and I know you would be so blessed to listen if you would like to! If anything, look over 1 Peter 1:1-7, so much LIFE in those verses :)

    Still in my thoughts and prayers Courtney- Much love, Katie

    "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith, of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire, may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

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  64. So cute, so sweet, so funny!!! Much love to you.

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  65. Oh my goodness. I remember watching that video months ago. I thought it was precious then and it is wonderful to see again. I can only echo what so many people have said before me. You were picked for Tripp and he was picked for you. It is so obvious the love that you had/have for each other. I am certain that heaven is enjoying his huge personality. Prayers and hugs always.

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  66. Oh those eyes- those gorgeous brown eyes are unforgettable. What a beautiful boy.

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  67. That's wonderful Courtney! Thank you for sharing this video. His "stinker" attitude is just so funny.

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  68. How much I love those big, warm brown eyes! He's so adorable and you laughter is so contagious. Thank you again for this precious gift. You are so perfectly tuned to each other: his rolling eyes and cute little tongue sticking out shows how much he enjoys entertaining you and his already developed sense of humour and your laughter is so full of joy, pride and love.
    Yesterday I thought a lot about Tripp, you and your family at Church as we had a lecture on Mark's Parable of the Mustard Seed. As you know it is about the Kingdom of God, but I find it so appropriate also to describe Tripp and the huge impact his amazing lessons of unconditional love, bravery, optimism and many others are having on us.

    "It is like a grain of mustard seed, which when it is sown in the earth, though it is smaller than all the seeds that are on earth, yet when it is sown, grows up and becomes greater than all the herbs and puts on great branches, so that the birds of the sky can lodge under its shadow."

    We miss you Tripp <3

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  69. What a touching story. RIP to your beautiful baby. I don't know how I found your blog, but I'm glad I did. I admire your strength.

    Check out this site, http://yourtravelvideos.com/ Your Travel Videos is a collection of links to videos and other internet resources on places to stay, restaurants and things to do. The cool thing about the site though is that you can make money off videos you have made, or also from videos that are already out there on the web. It's a great operunity for mothers, you can do this from the comfort of your own home. It is 100% free so there is no risk to check it out and join.

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  70. Courtney,
    I miss him too.........so much and I miss hearing from you.
    As much as we love Tripp, we also love you and want to know how you are doing. Please keep posting his videos so we can see him again especially with his mommy. I wish I could take you pain and sorrow so that you can have a few minutes of joy like you felt when Tripp was with you. But I can't, so I pray for you to have peace and joy once again and you will. You really are such a courageous woman to even go on from one day to another. Some days you are carried but you are doing it!
    Much love.
    Linda
    Charlotte NC

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  71. What a fun video to cherish! Thank you for sharing again. Made me smile and I hope it continues to make you smile through the hard days. Blessings from California,june

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  72. Oh what a funny video of Tripp! It made me smile. I hope it makes you smile during the hard days.

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  73. Hilarious! And so precious. God bless you, Courtney.

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  74. This is too cute :-)
    Now he's rolling his eyes to make smile to god.

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  75. I truely feel your pain. I also thank God for every day I have left with my wife who has brain cancer.

    I’ve been a follower on your blog for a while now and would like to invite you to visit and perhaps follow me back. Sorry I took so long for the invitation

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  76. Courtney,

    You make me a better mommy to my son, Caleb. Thank you for sharing this adorable video. I think of you and Tripp often and praying for strength during your especially hard days of coping with the grief.

    Please know that you still have people praying over you and Tripp!

    Much love,
    Jennifer

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  77. Courtney....I don't know if you read off of your post but when I read this I thought of you right off the top. I think God sent this as a answer to some of your prayers! I hope you enjoy.

    As I sit in Heaven, and watch you everyday
    I try and let you know with signs, I never went away.
    I hear you when your laughing, and I watch you as you sleep,
    I even place my arms around you to calm you as you weep.
    I see you wish the days away, begging to have me home
    So I try to send you signs, so you know your not alone
    Don’t feel guilty that you have life, that was denied to me,
    Heaven is truly beautiful, just you wait and see!
    So live your life, laugh again, enjoy yourself, be free
    Then I’ll know with every breath you take,
    You’ll be taking one for me!

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  78. :(
    Tripp is adorable! I'm so sad that happy little boy isn't on Earth with us any more, but I'm so glad he's entertaining angels.

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  79. Thank you for sharing. Tripp is forever in our hearts, as are you as his momma. I absolutely love this last post. Remember him like this - his love, strength, and devotion is his lasting legacy that all of us who read your posts will always remember and cherish. He will never, ever be forgotten.

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  80. LOL That was a wonderful clip of your baby boy. :) Instantly made me laugh! I think of you all the time Courtney. Thank you for the gift of your baby, you and your writings. You... have made the world a better place.

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  81. Sweet Tripp... the earth has really lost an angel. But heaven is richer.

    I still think about you Courtney, and Tripp, every day. I hope that you will find the will to live again, and that you can be happy without the feeling of guilt. I can only immagine how impossible it must feel :-( But one day I hope it will be easier on you.

    Love always

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  82. I thought of him today, as I watched the wings of a butterfly flit upon the invisible wind. I thought of you, his mother as well, as it brought a warmth within. Tears I've shed in empathetic grief, but today awakened joy, and smiles from underneath. I thought of him today, when I heard my own child laugh, his life and yours have forever altered my own path. Courtney Roth is the strongest mother I hope to ever know, and her son Tripp is certainly in an ethereal realm, surely smiling, laughing, playing, stealing the show. I think of you each day, however briefly it maybe, and wrote this slight poem to say 'thanks for sharing your son with me.'  

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  83. I love that video, Courtney. What a fun, special, Mommy-Son moment. As always, thinking of you and your family! God Bless

    Joseph, Joanna and Jude
    Madison, WI

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  84. I think about you and your baby man all the time. You have given me so much strength through our own trials. How blessed we are to be momma's of the littlest of the little. I so believe that Tripp did his hard work here on earth and was rewarded with eternity. Praying for your continued healing.
    Chasity
    blessedbyd.blogspot.com

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  85. Beautiful video. I love the mischievous tongue out. We got a dancing Elmo doll in the mail this week and it reminded me of Tripp. And cleaning out my attic I found a baby Elmo still in it's box my mom gave me 10 years ago and was wondering if you wanted it to place with Tripp next time you visited him? If you do email me your address ( or po box) at nhennegar@yahoo.com and I'll send it your way. I hope your heart is doing ok. You are still in my thoughts daily. <3

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  86. I can't watch the video, i cry so much.

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