Ok. I can take a hint.
You guys are seriously amazing.
Your comments after I've been away from blogging for so long were unexpected and very humbling.
I never anticipated getting that type of response to a blog that I thought was so pointless.
It was truly encouraging.
And it made me realize something important...
What helped me through the hardest times of my life, was you-
All of you who care and continue to care.
So thank you... again.
Someone mentioned my sister and her new baby.
And then it hit me... I haven't posted about them since I told you guys she was pregnant! I've been in a little hole for so long that I haven't even shared my new nephew with you guys. Well, I guess he's not really new anymore...
he is already 10 months old!
And he surely has my heart...
Samuel Lawton Welt was born on December 14, 2012.
He has the prettiest blue eyes you'll ever see.
He lives exactly 7.5 hours too far away from his Nanny.
Nanny, Grammy, and Papa try to visit as often as we can, and Samuel, Mommy and Daddy try to come visit here in Louisiana, too. But when we aren't with each other, we try to FaceTime a couple of times a week (so he remembers us!)
Samuel's Daddy just came back from his deployment of 4.5 months overseas.
I'm sure you can imagine the joy when they were all reunited again :)
Watching my sister become a mom was bittersweet.
Only because, I had always imagined us being moms together- taking the cousins on adventures together, dressing them up and taking pictures together, doing almost everything together.
And when Samuel was born, and I didn't have my Tripp there to meet him... well, I was sad.
I'm not going to lie and say that it was easy, because it wasn't.
I was jealous she had her baby and I didn't have mine.
I went through many phases-
the really sad one and the "it's not fair" one.
But I know now, those feelings were normal- and they were something that I had to go through to get where I am today...
A proud sister and a proud aunt.
Because I'll tell you one thing... my sister is one hell of a mom.
To watch her be a mommy to Samuel is simply a joy.
I'm in awe.
She's so patient. So loving. And so completely selfless.
A true definition of the word mother.
My sweet Samuel loves to read books.
He's going to be a bookworm just like his Mommy and Daddy.
He loves being outside.
And most importantly (in my eyes of course),
he loves his Nanny.
I think a certain little angel might have had something to do with this love connection.
But the comment that got me was this one:
I think in a world of crazy, people look for that shining example of good. That's why I come back. You are so good.
Seriously? That's probably the greatest compliment I could ever receive.
Because in the past 2 years, that is what I have strived for and it is what I am still striving for every day...
to be a good person.
Just as I'm sure that it's something most people strive for.
But what are my reasons for striving to be good?
1. I have to get to heaven. No ifs, ands or buts about it. And I'm not knocking anyone's beliefs here, (I totally respect everyone's beliefs and hope you all will also respect mine :) but I don't think that just because I believe in Jesus Christ that I will get to spend eternity with Him. It's easy to "say" you believe. What's not easy, is to live your life for Jesus, in prayer, living the sacraments, doing good deeds, and loving your neighbor. That is not easy. But I don't believe it's meant to be easy. If it was easy, He wouldn't be warning us over and over again that this is what we need to be doing.
2. I spent most of my life (before becoming Tripp's mom), judging people without even knowing it. That person talks funny, that person dresses weird, acts weird... instead of judging from the inside.
If someone looked or did something differently than I did, I thought it was okay to just casually talk about them. Or maybe I didn't think it was okay- I knew better- but that didn't stop me.
But when God gave me a child that was different, it was like He slapped me in the face, trying to open my eyes. And though it's still very hard (it's human nature) I'm trying not to be so judgmental.
We have no idea what's going on in someone's life. Or why we think someone looks funny or acts funny. Every single person is fighting their own battle, whether it's internal or external- whether we can see it or can't see it. I try to remember that. Because God knows I'm still fighting a battle of my own. It's not nice to hurt other people- we are all in this together. We are supposed to be helping each other. No matter what or who you think the other person is.
3. The world needs it. I struggle with this. I struggle with the examples kids are getting these days (I know, I'm only 28... I'm still a kid myself... yada yada... but I feel like my mind is a lot older, ok?). The things on TV that anyone has access to watch, are appalling. The movies in the theater that kids are watching, are disturbing. I will never forget being 12 years old and my parents not letting me go to my best friend's birthday party because they were going to be watching a PG-13 movie. I thought they were the worst parents ever. But now I get it. There has to be rules. There has to be boundaries. And most of all, there has to be an EXAMPLE. Kids these days don't have good examples. Just watching a football game or a baseball game, when the camera is put on the players (these "supposed to be" role models for kids) and they show them mouthing the F bomb... Seriously, you make a bajillion dollars a year- show some respect. And I won't even get into Miley Cyrus... you get the point. Kids are searching for good examples. How do we expect the next generation to be good if we don't show them what good is??? If you think it's okay, your child will. If you settle for it, your child will. If you curse every other word, your child will. If you gossip and talk about people, your child will. If you skip church, your child will. They watch you. They look up to you. You are all they have. Be a good example. I want to be a good example. Even if it's to just one person. It has to start somewhere.
Being good is a choice.
You aren't born good.
You don't just become good.
It's how we handle our life experiences and how we use what God gives us. And we are all human... so we can never be good enough- there will always be room for improvement (no matter how good we think we already are). But you know what the best part is? God is always on our side and He always wants us to try.
We all mess up, and we will continue to mess up.
But God always forgives us and lets us try again.
As long as we continue to try...