So, I was thinking that I wanted to do a post that was a little more positive- and since I don't have many positive things to say about Tripp is feeling, I wanted to talk about the homily in church last night. I honestly felt like no one else was there and the priest was talking directly to me (I've been feeling like that a lot lately). But he talked about prayer and HOW we are supposed to pray. NOW, I am NOT a big Bible reader- BUT I am starting, trying, and learning. So please bear with me. The priest said that there is no need for us to go on and on by repeating ourselves. All you need is one line, short and to the point- for Jesus to hear you. And he gave many examples of Jesus' prayers and the prayers of his diciples. Such as: "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." -Luke 22:42 When He says, "remove this cup from me" he means either his present sorrows and distress, or his upcoming sufferings and death- But then he says that He wants God's will to be done, not His. See what I mean about him talking to me?? Sometimes I get so caught up in asking God to heal Tripp, or to take his pain away, that I forget that God's has His own plan for Tripp- and I just have to be patient and have faith in that plan. And right after that it says that an angel appeared and strengthened Him. That's where you all come in- you're my angels... and you strengthen me daily.
Then the priest talked about Lazarus- the brother of Mary and Martha. Lazarus was sick- and Mary and Martha went to Jesus and this was their prayer: "Lord, behold, he whom you love is sick." -John 11:3 But if you keep reading, Jesus remains where He is for 2 days- and Lazarus dies. Martha says to Jesus, "Lord, if you would have been here, my brother would not have died." -John 11:21 But Jesus tells her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." -John 11:25-26 This is the perfect example of God not answering your prayers when YOU want him to, but when HE wants to- it shows that Jesus purposely stayed where he was for 2 days and let Lazarus die, because He knew He was going to bring him back to eternal life to live with Him. This I found was extremely important to me- and to everyone who is praying for Tripp... God may not be answering our prayers right now- but he knows exactly He's doing. Sometimes we have to end up waiting... not because God is doesn't hear us, or our prayer isn't acceptable, but because God has other things in mind. And we won't know what those things are until the time comes. Whether Tripp lives 100 years with EB, whether he is cured of his EB, or whether he goes to live with Jesus sooner than we think... it's not in MY hands.
Another prayer that was mentioned: "Lord, I just do not have the strength." The priest talked about how Mary says this prayer in the gospel of John at the beginning of Jesus' ministry. He says just a simple one-lined prayer like this is enough to get the point across. Once again- speaking to me.
He says the reason we Catholics sometimes repeat prayers is not to get God's attention, but to give God time to get our attention. But God IS listening. Sometimes our prayer doesn't need to be a request. When Thomas comes in face-to face with Jesus after He has risen, he says, "My Lord and my God." -John 20:28 or when the blind man calls out to Jesus, "Jesus, son of David, have pity on me." -Luke 18:38 By this prayer, God tells us that it is okay complain, groan, and whine all you want to God and know that you will be heard. God has big shoulders and He does not hold grudges.
I think the point to all of this is- You have to have FAITH. When you pray and in everything you do. Faith is the key. Trust in God, He does have a plan.
I learned a lot during the homily yesterday and I just wanted to share with you some of the important parts. And I also want to thank everyone again for the love and support that you have given me. I am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life.
We will be going to see the pediatric surgeon today to check out his feeding tube site and then to get some more blood work drawn to see if the antibiotics are helping his WBC go down. I will do my best to update you guys when we get back :)
Have a great day!
Love,
God is strengthening you. He is blessing you. Through this trial you are working out your salvation. You are being sanctified by His Holy Spirit. He is doing a mighty work in you and you are showing the fruit. Your faith is strong though you are weary. I pray for you with love.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great and uplifting post! Thanks for sharing what you learned and helping to enlighten us as well. Hope you and Tripp have a good day :)
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing..you guys have touched so many of us...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for that,every morning while on my way to work I talk to god and pray. But just this morning I was thinking I repeat the same thing every morning and some how it just doesn't feel like I am asking for prayer. I sure will keep all you said in mind see, god was using you today to talk to me. I continue to pray for Tripp and admire your strength in everything you go through.
ReplyDeleteCourtney you are such an inspiration, I so admire you. Your faith has strengthened my faith. I love you so much...and your moma too. Love Aunt Sharon
ReplyDeleteGreat Post! We are praying that Tripp's WBC will be down and the antibiotics will be working. Keep studying God's word! I pray that you will be able to draw strength and more faith through it. You are an awesome mommy!
ReplyDeleteLoved the post...you and Patrice are such wonderful and strong Ladies! Praying for you and Tripp!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!! Continuing to lift you all up!!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. When Brian and I pray together for Daylon and Brian vocalizes the prayer he always remembers to say "we ask these things Father, if it be thy will, in the name...". I always forget (I think) to say it because I (if I could underline "i" I would have) want him to be better. It can take some deep breaths and pondering before I remember that HE has a plan for Daylon. I was just telling Brain that I think it's interesting that all the EB families I follow have a strong faith in God. I don't know if that's why he gave us these special kids or if it's because we've been strengthened by having these kids in our lives, but either way, they are such a blessing to all of us. Thank you for sharing such a personal side of you to all of us! Love you! Jenn
ReplyDeleteI learned so much from that homily yesterday too, and I was thinking of your little family the entire time as well. Years ago at my friend Kyle Peltier's funeral, his pastor reference this passage too: "Lord, if you would have been here, my brother would not have died." -John 11:21. I remember him saying that what we must concentrate on in that sentence is the word LORD, not the word IF, because in the end all "if"s are what we must relinquish to the Lord, and we might as well leave them out and not worry ourselves with the "if"s. That has stuck with me for six years, and I feel like I'm still learning about the effect of Kyle's blessed life and trials on this earth. There were many "if"s during his illness, but looking back, there was WAY more God. Courtney, your faith is such a shining example of the faith we should all have. I pray with you daily, even though I hardly see you! GOD BLESS.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, I dont know you but have followed your blog thru a mutual friend and I cannot tell you how inspiring you are, you are the most patient, caring,and loving parent I think I know, but don't really know, ;) I cannot imagine what you and your family go thru on a daily basis but I have always believed that GOD does give these children to people like you that have the faith, strength and patience to deal with it. Bless your heart and may GOD give you the biggest angel wings ever someday!
ReplyDeleteAs friends of Bella we now follow Tripp too - we are praying for you and for Tripp.
ReplyDeleteI too heard a very similar message yesterday at Mass. Funny thing is I have been hearing the same message on Bella's blog from her dad.
What I heard and am trying so hard to live is: Faith is not trusting in and believing in God as long as things go my way. Faith is trusting in and believeing in God when things do not go my way.
Praying - Tina in NJ
Sometimes the hardest prayers are the ones where we have to say your will Lord not mine. I have been following your blog for awhile and think of you and your sweet boy often. Just a thought for the pain that Tripp is having. I know a few people that have had great success with nerve blocks given by a pain dr. I know you are always wondering if there is something else to try so I thought I would mention this. Hope the visit today goes well.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, I have to agree with the poster above that said you were an inspiration
ReplyDelete.... I so agree with her. I just wanted to tell you that you and all who care about Tripp, including Tripp are in my prayers. I hate the little man is having so much pain.
If anyone would like to participate in a little project to perhaps add a little bit of cheer to Courtney's life, please email me at vickib2@aol.com
ReplyDeleteThat was a great post. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with us. I will continue to pray for Tripp because we know God still performs miracles, just in his time! xoxo :)
ReplyDeleteSweet little Tripp. I question my faith alot but there is no doubt in my mind that you were put on this earth to be your sweet little one's mommy. Although I do believe God does have a plan; it seems so very unfair to have Tripp suffer so much. I guess that's when FAITH kicks in.You and your whole family are in my prayers for peace and comfort.A longtime reader.....K
ReplyDeleteDear "little knight" I'm sorry that you're still having a tough time. You certainly deserve some relief from the constant pain you've been dealing with lately. Courtney, thanks for your message about faith. You and Tripp have touched me in so many ways that it's really hard for me to put into words.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Rachel
Hi Courtney,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I'm very touched by Tripp, your family, and your words. I pray for you all, especially Tripp often. I feel called to share that you might really love the book, "Making Sense Out of Suffering" by Peter Kreeft an amazing Catholic author and professor whose love of Jesus has really touched my heart. It is about the good/blessings that can come out of suffering when we offer them to Christ even when it does not seem at all fair. It really changed my life. I will continue to dedicate many prayers to your family and that sweet baby. God Bless, Jackie
Beautiful, sweet girl. Constant intentions.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth Amarillo
Courtney, what a beautiful and uplifting post. I have been following your blog for a few months now. Your are a special person who has been given a special gift and you seem to handle this task with such grace.
ReplyDeleteI will keep your family in my constant prayers.
YOU, Courtney are a vessel for our Lord. He has ways of teaching us at times that we don't know to expect. We go to church frequently and leave not having heard anything. NOT you this past Sunday. You are being told to have faith!! We lose our faith at times and you certainly have had reasons to question faith. Your strength in God's message is so awesome. Thanks for sharing your close experience with your faith....it makes my faith stronger too!! Love, Patsy
ReplyDeletelove your post!
ReplyDeleteCheck out this song...it gives me strength when i don't understand.
JJ Heller
Your Hands
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlL8LayF0uw
Court, If you want to see a glimpse of what God is doing through Tripp...Go look in the mirrow. Love Ya!!!! Uncle Ray
ReplyDeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteI don't know you personally, but heard of you through a friend of mine. What an inspiration you and Tripp are to me!! As a young Catholic mother of 2 (my daughter was born May 20, 2009 -- 6 days after your sweet Tripp!), I can definitely understand your love for Tripp. I know what it's like to be faced with crises and having to be strong for your child. Our faith in these hard times is what gets us through. You and Tripp are in my prayers, sweetie. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Author Unknown
I'm in awe - many of the insights you wrote take much much longer for people to get if they ever do. I'm sorry that you are having a "crash course" on pain, suffering, prayers, and God's will. But God has chosen you to be Tripp's mother for this purpose. Your reward, as will Tripp's, will be unbelievable, and it will be for all eternity! Praying for Tripp and you daily.
ReplyDeletePraying, praying, praying. God does have a plan for your little Tripp. God loves your son so very, very much. I am hoping that brings you some comfort... to know Tripp is in good hands! Yours, Randy's, all family and friends, blog friends, and our Gods hands! Hugs to you... a catholic Meme, praying still ~here in Colorado!!
ReplyDeleteI hope y'all are having a better day. I have prayed for y'all.
ReplyDeletewonderful post !! geez Kourtney I look up to you and wish that I was as strong as you . i dont know how you do it. I read every day and cry every day . I hope your baby Tripp pulls through. I know what you are going thru ...Daylon is my nephew and I love him so much. I dont blog good but just know that, i am with you through your jorney. thank you for keeping me updated. God bless your family.LOVE YOU BABY TRIPP!!
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about praying the same prayer over and over- that it is to let God get our attention! Never looked at it that way, but it surely makes sense! Stay strong. Keep your faith. Love on that precious pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteYour post did not sound like someone who is a "beginner" in faith. You were so uplifting and inspiring. Your strength amazes constantly, my prayers are always giong up for you and for Tripp. You have no idea how strong you are...I hope you get good news tomorrow about Tripp's blood work. Continued prayers from us here in NC~
ReplyDelete<3
Heather
Courtney & Family,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and remembering you in my prayers. You have a lot more faith than you realize and I know God gives you what you need just when you need it. We may never understand anything, but God knows the entire big picture and we just see what we can see. Tripp is so precious and I think of you so often. My little preschoolers are still praying for you and your precious family.
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteEven though you don't know me, I've spent the last three hours reading your story and feeling my heart break and brighten at the same time. Your strength is uplifting and Tripp is a delight. A friend-of-a-friend just recently had a baby girl with EB and while researching and reading I stumbled on your blog. I'm very thankful I did. I somehow now feel I've known you and Tripp for years and will pray for all of you regularly.
I hope you don't mind I added you on Facebook so I can keep up with your story.
God bless you all and thank you for allowing us - even strangers from Michigan - into your lives and journeys.
- Stephanie
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteMay God hold you in the palm of his hands. Our prayers are with you, Randy and Tripp.
I really liked your thoughts on prayer and faith. Very well put. Thanks for sharing your process with us. I will continue to keep your Tripp in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteLaura Valetutto, Germany
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I hope you do. I hope you write a book, highlighting some of the most important truths you have learned about God and life, grounded in your experience being Tripp's mother and seeking God's will and wisdom. I hope you also highlight the great potential for good in others, highlighted by all those who supported you.
This is what is so amazing about Christianity; it's the truth, as you beautifully showed in this post. Jesus is the Way, Truth and Life.
When I lost my father to cancer, I finally realized that Jesus came to save us from what truly matters: sin and death (eternal separation from God). He came to restore us back to friendshihp with God and one another and to welcome us into God's kingdom: "Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43).
You're a fantastic person Courtney. This post is so illuminating.
Your brother in Christ,
Benjamin