Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love.

Happy St. Valentines Day to all of you.  
For me, today is extremely bittersweet.  Today makes exactly ONE month that I've been without my baby boy.  The thought of that physically feels like someone is ripping my heart out of my chest.  Knowing that I haven't done a bath, a dressing change, said night-night prayers, or kissed those sweet lips in ONE whole month seems so unreal to me right now.  
A true nightmare.
But I'll tell you why today also makes me smile- because today is about LOVE.  
Right?
And I know all about love.  Tripp taught me love.  He taught me love like I've never known it before.  What I've learned MOST from him is unconditional love.
A love so strong that nothing can break it... not even death.  A love that shines through pain, anger, and exhaustion, but also through times of complete joy and trust.  Tripp taught me that every day counts- and that every minute matters.  He loved me with his whole tired little heart every minute he was alive.  Never once while he was alive did I think that my job as a mom was hard.  I was doing what I was supposed to be doing- all I knew how to do, and all I wanted to do.  He lead me through every day and every hour by showering me with love like I've never known before.  He was wise and holy beyond his years.  I believe that with all my heart.  I believe that he knew exactly what would happen in his time here on Earth- down to the very last minute.  I believe he carried out God's plan for him.  
God's plan to show true LOVE. 
   
All of us have said "I love you" to someone at least once in our lives, I would assume, right? 
Well think about what that means.  What IS the definition of love?  The best definition I can think of would be the one we have heard over and over.  It's the letter that St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians (possibly around 30 years after the time of Jesus) in efforts to teach us how to live our lives as God had instructed us. 

 "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Now... do we really love each other?  Have we broken these verses apart and thought about what God is really telling us to do and how to live? 
Are we really patient with each other, with our kids, with the person in front of us in line, or the person who cut us off in traffic?  
Are we kind?  Do we go out of our way to do nice things for one another?  Do we visit our loved ones who are sick or homebound?  Do we say nice things to each other or is all that comes out of our mouths ugliness and gossip? 
Are we JEALOUS?  Do we spend every waking hour wishing we looked like someone else or are we so proud that we think are better than someone else? 
Are we so selfish that we forget about the feelings of others?  Do we forget that we are here to get to heaven... not here to see how much money we can obtain in this lifetime, or how many friends we can acquire on Facebook? 
Do we forgive (the hardest, most dreaded task we are ordered to do)?  Do we skip family functions because we are still angry at Aunt Sally because of something that happened 10 years ago?  Do we avoid a friend in the grocery store because of something that happened that has absolutely no meaning to us anymore? Life is SHORT, people... and life here on this Earth has one purpose and one purpose ONLY- 
TO GET US TO HEAVEN.  

Do we just have to love God and our spouse, children, and family?  
Or are we instructed to love EVERYONE? 


"The most important commandment is this: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
-Mark 12:29-31


Are our neighbors just the people who live next door?  Our neighbors are anyone and everyone around us.   They are the person in front of you in line, they are the person that cuts you off in traffic, they are even the orphans in far off countries. 
Why are we wasting so much of our energy on things that just don't matter? 
Why are we storing up all of the LOVE we have to offer?  What are we waiting for?  
Today- for me and for Tripp- do something SO special for someone that it makes God smile.  
It doesn't even matter if that person appreciates it or not- just do it.  Step out of your comfort zone!  Pick up the tab/bill of a stranger, help someone carry their groceries, visit a family member that you haven't seen in years, or just simply hold the door open for someone.
What happened to the world when people did nice things for one another without needing anything in return?  Pay it forward.  Every action and every small deed counts.  You never know when you are making a difference in someone's life. 
And I promise you... that you will feel so good about yourself that you might even want to do something nice for someone EVERY DAY (gasp)!   

And the next time you tell someone you LOVE them, think about what it means to LOVE them.  Do you say it out of habit or because it's what you think you're supposed to say?  And better yet, try just SHOWING someone you love them without even saying it.  
Because, we've all heard it before... but it's so true: 
Actions speak louder than words. 
So make your time here on Earth worth something, because you never know when your time will be up!!


"And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven'."
-Matthew 8:3



LOVE,   
Photobucket

155 comments:

  1. To Courtney, you continue to inspire through your words, your feelings, your thoughts and how graciously you share. I hope in your strength, you have time to feel and treasure all the love that must be just bursting at your seems! Continued prayers and well wishes for your comfort and peace. God bless.

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  2. Thank you for sharing Courtney. I feel the same way. Life is more important then all the material things. We should all help each other and show appreciation. Happy Valentine's Day, Tripp must be sending all his hugs and kisses to you.

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  3. This was EXACTLY what I needed to read tonight!! Courtney.. you are truly amazing and I am literally speechless. Your faith and love is awe-inspiring! Tripp captured my heart from the moment I stumbled upon his FB page. My heart broke with yours as I learned of his passing. And I hope and pray that I never have to experience losing one of my children. To see you still so full of love and being a guiding light blows me away! Much love and prayers & hugs to you!!!! (Pam Guarino on FB)

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  4. Well said. Thanks for always being so inspirational even at times of grievances. I am sure Tripp is smiling down at you.

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  5. Remember a lifetime here on earth is like 1 day in heaven so just think you'll see mr handsome tomorrow :) you have completely changed the way I take things for granted and the time I spend with my girl. You and Tripp are a blessing <3 thank you

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  6. That is soooo true!!!! And very sweet Im glad I have been following your story it has really changed my life and the way I look at everything!!!! I wish you the best of days to come and Im really glad to see you making it through this very hard time I know thats what your sweet lil boy wants!!! I pray to him every night to help you stay strong and let you know he's still with you in you'rre heart!!! I have searched everything about EB since I came across your blog it breaks my heart I want to do everything I can to help everyone battleing any illness!!! I love you and your sweet lil baby boy!!! Both of you have touched my heart this story is so close my home it hurts we dont live far from each other, and it feels like since its from a place I know its so much more real!!! I have always wanted to help all kinds of people in anyway possiable!!! And you and your baby make me want to help even more!!! Here is my email I would love to hear from you on there!! lilmama198705@yahoo.com plz email me sometime I will be looking forward to it!!! I have 3 baby girls 6,3, and 6 months and when I read YOUR blog for the first time it made me wake my babies up and tell them how much they mean to me!!! Your a very strong and loving person even though Im sure its very hard to continue blogging Im very happy you do cause I look forward to reading your post!!!! I actually got this feeling you posted something tonite so I checked an sure enough you posted 1 minute before i logged on ;)!!! You are a very inspireing women and mommy!!!

    Love Danielle

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  7. Tripp WAS wise and holy beyond his years. We could see this in him so well through your eyes, Courtney; in the blog descriptions of your daily life with him - a life made holy by love and sacrifice. You will never know how much I appreciate the chance you gave me to be blessed by knowing Tripp through your eyes. When it first came to me through your words that Tripp was not to be on this earth much longer; I promised him and God that my way of honoring him would be to continue to spread awareness of the need to find a cure for this dreadful disease. But I also promised to try each day to do some act of kindness or gratitude to someone in memory of Tripp. To try to gripe a little less and smile a little more. Thank you, Thank you for this beautiful post of LOVE on Valentine's day. It helps me remember all that is pure and holy and right in this world and why we are here. I love your little man and will NEVER forget him. Thank you for continuing to share with us. Praying for you and your family daily.

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  8. beautiful words from the heart! soooooo much is taken for granted, daily. i think too often we do forget b/c of our busy lives what our purpose is on this earth. why were we created and for what purpose? we were created in HIS image to share with HIM, all HIS creations. and all that is asked of us, is to remember the sacrifice that was done for us to have eternal life.....if we BELIEVE!! thank you once again for sharing your faith and LOVE......it truly is humbling! prayers still continue from our family to yours :)

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  9. Courtney, I meant to comment on your last post. Thank you for continuing to blog. Tripp was and is such an inspiration to everyone, but YOU are an inspiration to me. You define everything a mother should be to her child and I truly aspire to become as wonderful as you. I cannot imagine how you feel without Tripp in your arms. Goodness, I miss the little guy and I've never even met either of you in person. It's just beautiful and so fitting that you continue to share your grace and wisdom even in the midst of your grief. I continue to pray for you and your family and I think of Tripp daily when I look at my own little boys. He helps me to appreciate the times even when they are making me bonkers. I leave my cooking and cleaning to sit and laugh or play with them. Heaven knows I can never have those moments back. Lots of love...

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  10. I'm still praying for you doll. Your words are wonderful and so true.

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  11. Thank you Courtney for sharing such a beautiful message.I am going to share it with friends and family of mine.Your journey, of love with Tripp,has so inspired me to reach out to others.I had three weeks to share with my father when we found out he had cancer.Those three weeks we shared,talked,sang & cried.I left no question un asked or feeling un felt.Thanks to you and Tripp I view things so differently now.I try to make a difference in my life and others.Thank you so much & God bless.

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  12. Courtney you are such an inspiration and your son has touched my heart. I love reading yours and tripps stories they are so beautiful and it has taught me to.cherrish every moment of life. Happy valentines day to your baby angel who is smiling dowith unconditional love.

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  13. thank you so much for being the person you are. This is the first time I'm responding to your blog, but I've tried to keep track of Tripp and you. I was truly saddened that he left us. Your words today are something I needed to read as I wasn't having a very loving night. Thank you for sharing you and Tripp with us

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  14. Wow Courtney, you are simply an amazing woman! I'm sure Tripp is smiling down on you right now and also so PROUD to call you his Mommy! :)

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  15. Well said! I know that Tripp was put here to inspire you and for you to inspire others.
    I really needed your inspiration tonight as I was going through a difficult time with my teenager and you hit my need on the head and I thank you!

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  16. Courtney, you definitely have a way with words! Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts with all of us. One thing I can continue to count on is that you, and Tripp, will continue to steer my life in the direction of the Lord. When life begins to "boil over" and I start to focus on the negatives, I can always count on you too remind of who and what is really important. Thank you Courtney! I hope that you can enjoy this special day and know that your biggest valentine is smiling down on you!

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  17. Courtney, this really blessed me!!! Thanks for always being an inspiration to me. Praying for you daily!!! I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to love Tripp!!!

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  18. Thank You :) That's what makes you Amazing! Happy St. Valentines Day to you Courtney! Today is a very special day :) For anyone who knew Tripp or read his story. <3333 Love and Prayers to you Courtney!

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  19. Thank you for this post tonight. Your words ring so true and are such a good reminder. Bless you Courtney, and your sweet angel baby.
    ~tracey

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  20. Thank you, Courtney, I needed to be reminded of exactly everything you said tonight. Tripp did do great things with his life, by bringing so many closer to God, but you're also the one who did that, and now you still are. I can't put into words what your message did for me tonight. Sending huge hugs and prayers, from one mother to another.

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  21. I think of you often and keep you in my prayers. Losing a child is losing a part of your self. I know and share your pain, I lost a son too. Like you my faith is strong and I know we will see our boys again someday. Until then, we carry them in our hearts and through us, they can still make a difference in this world through the things we do, through us, they live on.

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  22. Courtney,

    I remembered immediately when I woke up that it has now been one month (and on Saturday it was four weeks), since Tripp got his angel wings. My daughter (3 years) is standing every evening in front of the window before she goes into her bed and looking at the sky and she says:"I can see a boy-angel, Tripp, he has light-blue wings and he is playing beautifully the tambourine, which I sent to him."

    Your sweet little drummer boy is still in our thoughts and we can feel his presence. He has taught us also that every day counts. And because of you Courtney we are closer in finding a cure!

    It must be a bittersweet day for you, one month since Tripp got his angel wings and this is a Valentines Day. But remember that you are surrounded by love and Tripp's love lasts eventhough he will be in Heaven!

    Lot's of hugs to you, you are such a special lady!

    Lotta Oljemark (from Finland)

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  23. I LOVE YOU COURTNEY AND TRIPP. Thank you for this reminder on a day when most feel loved but some feel alone. I will go out of my way today to make someone feel special. And I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

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  24. Courtney, thanking God for you, sister. Your words resonate with me because God is so evident in them. I love Tripp. He reminds me of my Gwen. Praying for you, as always, and thinking of you and Tripp almost every day.
    Much love to you,
    Esther

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  25. Courtney, this was an awesome post, thank you so much! I think you were absolutely right--sometimes, in all the chaos of the world, we forget what it really means to love someone else. I know there are times when I take my loved ones--my husband, my dog--for granted and don't give them all the love that I could, and it frustrates me! Life is precious, sometimes it is short, and I don't want to spend a minute denying love to those around me.

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  26. This is literally one of the best sermons I've ever received. You speak with the voice of an angel, proclaiming the truth and calling all to service. I am in awe of your wisdom and spirituality. I am SO blessed to have you in my life...and feel a personal connection to you as thousands of us do. Tripp touched and changed lives. You are touching and changing lives. God Bless You!!!

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  27. Courtney
    I have been a follower of you and your son for as long as I can remember. I have never posted anything before, quite frankly because I felt what I had to say wouldn't matter nor would it heal your breaking heart. Despite that, I know how wonderful it is to hear from many different people how much you have impacted their lives; I am definetly one of them. You and your angelic son have taught me to love stronger and deeper, to enjoy every part of my baby's life and not take any of it for granted. For that, I am forever grateful. I continue to pray and think about you both on a daily basis and I know what a strong mommy and woman you are and pray that your strength can get you through the hardest part of your life. So, thank you for sharing your story and continuing on with it for all of us and thank you to your son, who changed my life forever. May peace be with you.
    xoxo from So. Cal

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  28. beautiful. thank you so much xxx

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  29. Courtney, you inspire me every day. There is not a day that goes by, that I don't think of you and Tripp. Tripp did come to earth to teach love, which he accomplished in a big way. I am continuing to pray for you and your family.

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  30. WOW Courtney!! You are the strongest, bravest, most inspirational and phenominal women and mother I know!! Thank you once again for sharing yourself and your gorgeous little Tripp with us! Our lives will be forever changed because of the two of you and your amazing family! xxx

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  31. Thank you for inspiring me to think outside myself today. In honor if you and Trip I am going t bring flowers to a good friend who was recently separated with a card saying "you are loved". I know it isn't much, but I hope it will make you happy knowing that it is because of your inspiring words.

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  32. I woke up today sleepy anda little grumpy (not my usual morning). Yesterday was a long day and I was kind of dreading today, but your words have lifted me up in ways you can't imagine. You area beauutiful writer, mama, person and I just wanted to let you know we say a prayer for you everynight. God did bless you when he sent you Trip. He sent you an angel to care for and I know the rest of the angels were jealous God chose you to be his mommy. Happy Valentine's Day mama and know that we are thinking of you everyday.
    Roxanne

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  33. Thank you for reminding us what we tend to forget during our busy lives. I know your main man is sending you lots of hugs and kisses today. God bless you.

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  34. Well said Courtney! Your words truly do inspire many. You are constantly in my thoughts as you continue on your journey of life with your precious angel watching over you. May you continue to be blessed daily with strength and love.

    Happy Valentine's Day - I'm sure your angel is sending you lots of kisses today!

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  35. These are beautiful words to live by. You are such an amazing writer. I am still touched by you and Tripp everyday and pray for you constantly. I know Tripp is blowing you kisses like crazy today. He has taught me a lot about love as well. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. You are an inspiration of love, strength and what a mother should be.

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  36. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of what Loving someone really means!
    Continually praying for you...

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  37. You and Tripp never stop teaching us. We all LOVE you Courtney. Tripp started the Lord's mission and you are continuing it by bringing people closer to him. Never stop what you're doing because your rewards will be great in Heaven. ;)

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  38. Thank you for this beautiful and wise message.

    God bless you! I am so grateful for your loving heart.

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  39. Thank you Courtney. I needed to hear that today.

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  40. Courtney you talk about Tripp and how he did exactly what God intended for him to do, well you are an amazing steward of God! Your words are wiser beyond your years. You have truly been blessed with words and I thank you for sharing with all of us. You are a true testament that one person can change lives of so many people known and unknown. Because of your willingness to love and obey your God you have taught people around this world what the true meaning of love is

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  41. Sweet Courtney, you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Thank you for reminding us all to be an example of love and kindness every day, not just today.

    You remain in my heart and prayers-
    Mary

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  42. I LOVE you! Thanks for your inspiring words! Happy heart day to you and your family! <3

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  43. Courtney....your very much thought of everyday. I am so glad your continuing to do what you do on top of your loss and that's share your love for God.

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  44. This is beautiful! I want to share it on my Facebook page and give you all the credit for it.
    Blessings today and always!

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  45. your post are absolutely so touching! thank you for being as strong as you are. Tripp and you have inspired so many of us to live a better life and to realize how short life really is.

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  46. Courtney, he loved you so much! In the earlier pictures, you can see his happiness radiating from him. That last picture...remember him like that, when even so young, he loved you so much.

    It's good to hear from you, to know you're still moving forward, and that your faith is still strong. That's one thing that time and circumstances can never take from you.

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  47. Courtney you are making a difference! Thank you so much for sharing your's and Tripp's testimony. Reading your blog - it's just changing me. God bless you!

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  48. Thank you so much Courtney. I found your blog this past weekend and you have really opened my eyes as a parent. God bless youc and your family. I know you will see Tripp one day in Heaven and you will be able to cover him in hugs and kisses.

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  49. I think of you so often sweetie and here you are again with the most beautiful words to share with us! You are fulfilling God's purpose in your life (that is obvious!!), to show others the light! Hugs and love from Iowa
    Sarah and Stella

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  50. Wow! Such powerful words. There is no way I, or anyone else for that matter, could have said that any better. You and Tripp are such an inspiration to me. Thank you...from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
    I know it's been a long month and difficult month for you. I still pray for you every day and I still light a candle for you, Tripp, and your family every day. It will get better...the pain will lessen some. Just keep letting God and Tripp carry you. God bless you!

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  51. You are so amazing Courtney. As much emotional pain as you are in, you continue to make me a better person. I want to do so much for you, yet you are doing so much for me. Who does that? Bless you sweetie! I only learned of you and Tripp upon his passing and it is so bittersweet for me. I fell in love with him and lost him at the same time. You brought me back to God while simultaneously breaking my heart. The day he went home to God, you brought me back to God. It is a day of greatest sorrow and greatest promise for my eternal future. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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    1. I couldnt have said it better Vikki!! I feel the SAME EXACT WAY. He brought so many of us back to God. Ive never felt this way about anything..

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  52. You amaze and inspire me to be a better person!! THANK YOU! I pray for you every day!

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  53. Happy Valentine's Day Courtney and Tripp!! You both continually amaze me.

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  54. I agree with everyone else...you are such an inspiration! Much love to you, e

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  55. Your love for Tripp and his love for you has truly changed my life forever. I think about both of you several times a day and your story has changed me for the better - A better mom and a better child of God. Thank you thank you for continuing to post. Your words and your wisdom continue to inspire me. Today, when I feel tired of wiping noses, picking up toys, or breaking up arguments, I will shake off the frustration, put on gratitude, and serve the people in my life out of LOVE. As always, I am sending may blessings and good thoughts your way! xoxo

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  56. You inspire me to be a better person and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart! You truly are an amazingly strong woman! Thank you for your inspiring words of wisdom. You will be with your sweet boy again. Just keep going on and live your life for him!

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  57. Dear Courtney! I am a better person and mother because of You! I can't THANK YOU enought!! I think of you and Tripp everymorning I wake up and every night before I go to sleep! Your words and Tripp's message has reached as far Budapest, Hungary! Bless you!

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  58. Courtney, thank you for reminding us that LOVE surrounds us and is always within us. Thank you for reminding me to express it today as I did yesterday, as I will tomorrow. Thank you to Tripp for bringing us together because without his story, his journey, his love I may not have been blessed with your writing, your knowledge, courage and strength. You are always in my thoughts. I hope you are blessed with all the love you give today, tomorrow and always. Sending loving thoughts and prayers for continued strength your way.

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  59. This is such a wonderful (and very selfless) message. I think it's also sorely needed for many people. I can't think of a better way to honor Tripp's life than to celebrate the kind of love that surrounded the two of you every day and send it out into the world. Cards and candy and flowers don't last. These are the things that last.

    O/T, but is the contact e-mail you've posted still active?

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  60. Happy St.Valentine Day to you sweetheart. Tripp started God's mission of spreading love and making us closer to Him and you are continuing it in an beautiful manner. Tonight we went to sleep around midnight and I thought of Tripp and of you…I felt so sad thinking of all these daily habits and beautiful moments you had with him and that now you cherish in your heart.
    But this morning when I saw your post I felt such a sense of warmth and gratitude towards God and towards Tripp for making you smile, make us think about the meaning of unconditional love and encourage us to put it in practice. As you said he was wise beyond his years and this is really visible in his eyes and delightful smile. We all tend to get upset about insignificant things and to forget the meaning of true unconditional love. Thank you for reminding us about it.
    I would like to let you know that I did something special today for Tripp and for you. Actually I am trying to make the whole day special with a lot of little gestures: I helped financially a wonderful family - they do not know still, but I hope this will make their 5 children smile and give them some peace of mind-, I phoned my grandmother and promised her I will phone her more often so that she does not feel too lonely and I promised to send her recent pictures of my kids (which she always looks forward to), I smiled at people who pushed to get first in line at the post office and let them my place. And you are right: I feel good about myself and it made this day really special. And I am glad to think that it will make Tripp, you and God smile as well.
    As you said, actions speak louder than words. This is something I love about my husband, he's like that. And as you say, life is short. Ever since my father and daughter died, I learned to appreciate each day, each minute and each small present God gives us every day. In the morning when we all leave for work and school, I kiss my husband and children and smile at them like if it is the last time we are seeing each other, because I want them to remember this in case something happens.
    Thanks to Tripp, I learnt that every moment spent with you child is special and has to be treasured. In the evenings I like to have some special moment with each of them depending on the day. Some evenings I sit with my daughter on the lap and we listen to Elmo's songs on Sesame Street, other evenings I put in bed the two little ones and talk with my eldest, who is eight, and read with him or I like to cuddle with my one year old little boy and make him chuckle and smile. Thanks to Tripp, I am learning to be more patient and tolerant about small things. He's such a hero. Whenever I feel like complaining I see his beautiful face with his delightful smile and I think that if he could go through all his pain with such a beautiful smile, I should at least try to ameliorate myself.
    Thank you again for your inspiring words and for another tender and beautiful picture of your little Angel.We love Tripp and we love you. I will continue to pray God and Tripp to guide you. Lots of love, Talia

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  61. Courtney, this is wonderful. Thank you SO much for continuing to share yourself with us, even when it's painful. We recently lost a friend who was in a car accident, and it reminded me of how precious life is, and that we don't know what our next moment holds. God wants us to obey and love Him as if each day were our last.

    I think Tripp (and you!) have taught us all so much about God's love, and I hope to be able to follow your example each day.

    Love from TX!
    Laura

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  62. You couldn't have possibly said that message any better! Thank you for reminding us all that this day is not about loving your husband/finace/boyfriend, it's about loving everyone! God bless!

    <3 Your sister in Christ

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  63. wao!!! well said. This really got to me. You are totally right, what is our purpose in life? if is not to love and forget. is not about what you can get, is about what you give, no materials stuffs, but a kiss, a hug, a smile.

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  64. Much Love to you Courtney. What a blessing you are to
    many and to Tripp! We are all blessed by his presence and by yours.

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  65. Wow. Such a beautiful message Courtney!! Honestly, since I started reading your blog and getting to know you and Tripp, I have made it my goal to love more and better. To not just say it, to show it. I think about Tripp's adorable smile many times each day and it pushes me to do good things and make others happy and feel love. You have ignited a spark in my heart to live a more postive fufilled life. Tripp has truly changed my life in such a profound way. Thank you Courtney for showing us the way and sharing your angel with us. We miss him so much. His work is just beginning...

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  66. What thoughtful words Courtney.

    I must tell you something;

    As New Year's resolution - in honor of Tripp - I decided to never drive too fast or aggressively on the highway again (something I always did before... Shame on me. :-s)

    It may seem ridiculous but I actually agree the speed limit in his memory.

    Nowadays it's twice each day that I really take it easy and reflect on my life - it's when I go to/from work. I respect my fellow riders and let things take the time it takes.

    It's amazing how much positive things that has come out of this small change. My children now have got a mother who does not risk her life on the road 10 times (or more) a week.

    Many people around me has been inspired to do the same thing and they have called my change "mindfulness".

    I don't.

    I call it Tripps gift to my children.

    <3 Åsa

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  67. Courtney, you have accomlished Tripp's and yours mission, making people aware, making people stop, and slow down, making people realize life is too short, and that we are not promised any of it, making us all realize that we must cherish, and love-unconditionaly. I had never read your blogs, until i saw the article on Trpp's passing, since then i have watched that little drummer boys videos , read your blogs, and I have become a better man,a better husband, a better father, and a better son, and I will never stop, because of you, because of Tripp. He must be so proud of you,God is proud of you, we ALL are. Someday, when we all get our wings, we can all play and run in fields of Heaven, with all our loved ones that are waitng for us.
    Your are an inspiriation, you are a saint that loved an angel who was sent to us from our Lord, thank you for sharing your life, his life, we are all eternally greatful to you. Jake

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  68. You are an amazing woman who has touched the lives of more people than you will ever know. Thanks for the reality check...You are so very right! I know our little angel is smiling down on you today because he knows his Mommy is truly paying it forward.

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  69. Well said! Gave me chills. Makes me take a step back in life and re-evaluate anything and everything I have taken for granted. Thank you for this.

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  70. Sending love and prayers for you, Courtney as you continue to bless us and honour Tripp.

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  71. I've been reading your blog from the beginning and my heart aches for you. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and your family and your precious Tripp.
    From Russia with Love!

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  72. This is beautifully written, Courtney - and so true. God calls us to love people unconditionally, and I believe Tripp has taught us ALL what that command really means! In honor of Valentine's Day I shared your post on my Facebook page.

    Love and a big hug to you,
    Sabrina

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    Replies
    1. Was thinking of you today. God has truly given you an amazing gift in your son Tripp, a gift that lives on through you.

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  73. It was as if you wrote this to me Courtney. I needed to hear these words so much. God not only had a plan for little Tripp, but also for you. Your words and your courage are such an inspiration. Please keep writing and let us soak up your wisdom. I miss Tripp, too, although we never met, I waited for the posts and pictures. He is no longer hurting and for that we thank God. God Bless you Courtney and thanks for supporting others with your uplifting words.

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  74. Courtney, I thought of you and Tripp last night (as I always do) when I watched "Butterfly Friend" with my daughter.I also thought especially of YOU today when I saw this very appropriate poem:

    _________

    THE CHOSEN MOTHERS

    By Erma Bombeck

    Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.
    Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

    Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
    As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
    "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

    Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer."
    The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

    "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

    "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel.

    "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
    Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it."

    "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

    "But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
    The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

    God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side."


    "And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

    _______


    Love to you and Tripp. My heart still aches for you.

    ~Holly

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  75. What an amazing post. I was thinking of you today when I realized it was the 14th, one month later. You continue to inspire me. What an amazing person you are. Dear Tripp is so proud that you are spreading his message.

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  76. Courtney- wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day! Loved you most recent post. I wanted you to know that today in my mommies Bible study I shared how you and Tripp's story has changed my life and my walk with God. Since reading your blog, my family has been attending church regularly (which is a big deal) and I personally have been getting more connected with God, my Bible, and His people. I feel like I am thirst for a stronger relationship with God. I have never had that feeling before. Today's topic in Bible study was about the true meaning of LOVE. We went over 1 Corithians 13:4-7 in detail. Many of the moms sitting at my table had heard of Tripp's story and many follow your blog. We spent several minutes discussing your LOVE for Tripp. We were all inspired to be more like you. And to have a LOVE like God. Just wanted you to know that you are thought of daily and that even though we are strangers that you have a special place in my heart.

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  77. Court, the words you muster the courage to speak are planted somewhere deep in my heart. When I am searching for answers and finding my solitude in prayer, I hear them. I thank you for believing so hard, for wanting others to believe so hard.

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  78. Thinking of you and baby Tripp everyday. What a beautiful post... it is so true what you said.
    Lots of love from Spain

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  79. Dear Courtney,
    That is the most beautiful and inspiring post! You are right, most of us are not truly showing love to all of humanity. We are by nature sinners, selfish and self-centered creatures that must continually strive to better ourselves and help each other. I wish I was as good and loving a person as you. I will be the first to admit that I enjoy gossip (if only for a while before it becomes ugly, negative, and destructive and people start getting hurt and I start feeling disgusted with myself), I can be jealous and envious at times, and judgmental too. What can I say, I am human. But I am also generous, and helpful, and would like to think if someone needed my help, even a complete stranger, that I would help them even while others stood around idly by. We are complex, multi-faceted creatures in shades of gray, nobody is completely "black" or "white." I am glad you know that your son is still loving you from Heaven, and I wholeheartedly agree that he had planned out his life to the second and as such, in taking on such suffering, is a truly advanced soul, a spirit of Light, that has earned a special place in Heaven because of what he endured here on Earth. And what an honor for you to be his mom.

    Sarai
    Ontario, Canada

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  80. Courtney, this post shows that God also sent you with an important mission. You and Tripp make this world a better place, even though he is in heaven. Thank you for this post, as always, you show us how to put things, the important things, into perspective.
    I hope today you feel surrounded by the love of your family, friends, Tripp from heaven and the people that follow your blog.
    Love from Colombia

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  81. Courtney - wow you are the most amazing person and your words have taught me to look outside of myself and my life and really think of other people. Thank you for that, I will be sharing your words with my family tonight as I think my three teenagers need to hear them. It was my 20 year old daughter that sent me the link to your blog and I thank her for that as your message today has truly changed my day and my life. Tripp is in such amazing hands and is looking down at his Mommy so proudly today and everyday. You are truly amazing and I am sending you a huge hug today.

    Love,

    Tracy

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  82. Unbelievable! Truly inspiring. You continue to amaze me with your strength and sincere emotion. I think of you and Tripp so often. It's so amazing to be part of such an intimate journey.....to have been led to it so that your life can be forever changed......so that you can examine your own life and fix it where it's lacking. Happy Valentine's Day to you sweet Courtney. May God continue to bless you every day and strengthen you as you move through this life honoring your beautiful son.
    Much love to you from RI
    Kim

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  83. God Bless you Courtney! I love you and Tripp. Tripp helps me out everyday! I talk to him and he reminds me that I can do anything on this earth. My heart aches for you and your loss. I pray that you find peace, but like my sister who lost her husband 3 years ago, the pain never goes away, it gets more tolerable, but doesn't go away. You are an inspiration to all of us and your son is true Angel and I thank God for giving us Tripp everyday, although I wish he would have taken me instead to bear the pain Tripp beared. Love You!!

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  84. Courtney, beautiful post on love. I reblogged it here- hope you don't mind

    http://kittybabylove.com/blog/tripps-love

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  85. Happy Valentine's Day Courtney.

    Praying and praying for your broken, aching heart. I lift you up each and every day asking our God to comfort you.

    Blessings,
    <><

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  86. Hi Courtney,

    Happy Valentine's day to you too.
    Wow your words are so true. God's love is really unconditional and he's the reason why we know how to love and be loved.
    HE is the beginning of all the love we give to everyone specially to our special someone.
    I know how hard it is, not having Tripp by your side in this special day but we know he is very happy now in the paradise.

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  87. Courtney, I have been checking your blog waiting for you to post. Thank you for being an inspiration and example to all of us. I continue to pray for you every day and think about Tripp all the time. I am thankful that you know true love and have shared it with all of us.

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  88. Courtney, your post today could not have come at a better time. I had been struggling over the weekend with some personal issues and last night I studied the 13th Chapter of Corinthians. I asked myself most of those exact questions that you wrote, and I came to the same conclusion you did. We are here on Earth to show the unconditional love of Christ and to be helpers for our Heavenly Father. We are here to show love, all kinds of love, eros, agape and philia. People seem to get so caught up in the eros/romance type love that they forget about the others. (I am very guilty of this, especially on days like today…) Thank you for reminding me that love is not just about romance, it is about using the Lord's most precious gift to glorify him. I will definitely do something out of love for someone else today in Tripp and yours honor. :)

    Although we may never meet on Earth, I know I will meet you and your precious baby boy in heaven one day. Lots of love and prayers to you on this Valentine’s Day.

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  89. You're amazing, Courtney. You and Tripp are such an inspiration. I continue to pray for you and I admire your strength, courage, and faith. I always cry when I read your blog, but it also makes me smile and it touches my soul. You're both so special! I know things have got to be hard on you right now, and I know that you miss him. But I know in my heart that he and Jesus are always with you. The Heavens will sing when you and Tripp are reunited! Never give up hope... Both of your lives are an inspiration to the world!

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and your little angel!!

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  90. Courtney,
    I do not personally know you, but I feel as if I do after following your blog for over a year now. I have never felt compelled to comment until tonight. I full heartedly believe Tripp carried out God's plan for him! But I also believe you were left behind to continue fulfilling God's plan for him as well. You are a true testament to someone following God's word and remind each of us to do the same. You are an amazing mother, but also an amazing ROLE model. It is so hard today to find someone who will openly speak about their faith without hesitation. I believe God holds a special seat in Heaven for you, right next to Tripp!! God bless you!
    You are always in my prayers & will continue to be! Thank you for always being a positive inspiration to all of us!
    BreAnn Lockhart

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  91. Wow so amazing how you, your family and the sweetest baby boy can bring so many people together! I love it, just as l love you and Tripp!!! I have to say ditto to what everybody has said! And I do get so much strength from your story. Days when I feel like I cannot make it out of bed I think of you and Tripp and I jus feel grateful that I woke up after reading all that you all have been through! Thank your from the bottom of my heart for what you and Tripp have given to the world. I know your heart is heavy and I cannot even begin to imagine what you have come through but just know that you have made such a difference in so many peoples lives all over the world. You are a special blessing to all of us and I love you, your family and and that beautiful baby boy Tripp that brought so much love to so many people! Thank you Courtney and Happy Valentines day! Still praying for you every day and for there to soon be a cure for EB to end all the pain and suffering. God bless you all!!!! Donna from Virginia sending lots of hugs!!!!!

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  92. Thank you Courtney, beautiful words and scripture! God bless you and your family!
    Tripp will always be a beacon of light and love, a true Angel!

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  93. Courtney-

    They say that time in heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye' for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps us think of a child running ahead in heaven, through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what he is doing that when he looks behind, You are already there."

    Unknown

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  94. Gosh, wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone understood this truth? We are here to learn how to love. Our time here on earth is simply "School for our Soul". We learn how to overcome obstacles and trust Him.

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  95. Courtney, you never fail to amaze me with your faith, love and wisdom! You are truly an amazing woman. So many of us have learned much from you and Tripp. I am definitely sharing your post of my Facebook page. Everyone needs to read this.
    I love you,
    Barbara

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  96. Courtney, I am s happy to read your post today. I think about you daily and hope that you are doing as well as to be expected. What a beautiful post. Thank you. Tammie

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  97. What an inspirational post Courtney! God spoke to me through your words. I read it earlier this morning but have been reflecting on it all day. Your words; God's words, have inspired me to do things a little differently today. I hope to keep e ball roll in this right direction. Still praying for you and sweet Tripp. I know he is in God's lap.

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  98. Dear Courtney,
    I just wrote in my journal 2 nights ago that I think Tripp was wise beyond his years...I could see something in his eyes. I wrote that I thought he was chosen and sent by God to fulfill a misson of bringing a new hope and faith to His people. He was a messenger, in my eyes and I think that you were(in additon to being his lovely mama)were his scribe. The fact that I was drawn to your blog makes me feel that I was meant to see it. Now I am praying for my direction...and where I need to go in my life.
    Well in the spirit of "Paying it forward" I would like to extend and invitation to anyone reading this!!! Send me your name and address and I will send you something HAND MADE by me within the year!! Wouldn't it be nice to get your mail and not have a bill?!? ...a little surprise to brighten your day? my email is: curtisandsarahandre@yahoo.ca
    Thanks Courtney, for all of your words.
    Love from Westport, Ontario,
    Sarah

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  99. Sending all of our love to you tonight, Courtney. We knew today was going to be difficult. And we can only imagine how difficult it is for you every day. We miss Tripp, and we love you. We are sending you a million hugs from the shores of Southern California. And our hugs extend into the hemispheres above, where Tripp is smiling down on you. xoxo

    Love,
    The McChesney Family
    Laguna Beach, CA

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  100. Courtney- I think of you and Tripp often. Here in northern Ohio, EB has gotten a lot of news coverage. A little 6 month old from Stow Ohio became one of the youngest to receive a bone marrow transplant. The local news stations have covered her story all week and spreading awareness of EB. Every story made me think of you and Tripp. I am so glad that there is a growing awareness of this terrible disease.

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  101. So glad to hear from you... Great post! Not a day goes by that I dont think about Tripp :-)
    He has touched sooo many lives!

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  102. God Bless you Courtney, You and Tripp have made me a better person and a better Christian.

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  103. Thinking of you and of Tripp. Happy Valentines Day Courtney. Look after yourself x

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  104. Beautifully written Courtney. I'm still praying for you. Hugs

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  105. Keep loving Courtney. You're a beautiful mother and I so admire you.

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  106. Courtney, you inspire me to be a better mom, wife, daughter, and friend everyday. You are such an amazing person and an inspiration to so many! Tripp was the luckiest little boy in the world to have you as his mommy! Your videos and blogs have touched my life in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you God for blessing this world with little Tripp! He has made a lasting impact on so many!

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  107. As a mother who has lost a child to another mother who has lost a child, I know how you feel Courtney. I wish that I could just give you a hug right now. I know how much it hurts. I wish that I could steal your pain so that you wouldn't have to feel it. ((((many many hugs))))

    Desareì

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  108. Courtney. I have been so touched by this post and this is obviously a MINISTRY that you have been called to through your love for God and your little man and your pain and suffering .Continue to reach souls for Christ and receive His comfort and His healing as others are blessed by your strength and your words.Let your light keep shining my dear. The world needs it.jacqui

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  109. Courtney, I literally just cried.
    I've read your blog top to bottom and everywhere in between. I could not imagine going through all of that. A friend of mine is sorta going through the same thing, she was told that her son will never be able to see for his optic never was damaged during her pregnancy. You're about the strongest person I know. your blogs make me have more faith then i've ever had, and i know you don't understand why god took little tripp but there was a reason. Tripp is your angel now just as he always has been. I know its hard, but keep your faith, i'm praying for you, and your family.

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  110. My daughter died on January 8th 2011. We were told it was a 1/250,000 chance that the same thing would happen again. On December 2nd, 2011, my son was still born. Not until after he was born did they find that I was a carrier of a thyroid antibody. I first started reading your blog a few days after Jordans funeral. You are such an inspiration to me! When people complain about having a bad day I always think about you! You are truly a role model and my hero! From one mommy of angels to another! You are truly amazing!

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  111. Best picture ever!! We all love and miss your little man (even though we never met) My heart hurts for you!!

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  112. Thank you for the great exhoration. I really needed it and it means so much coming from someone who has loved so deeply. It cuts to the depths of my heart when God's words are shown to be so true.

    This is the amazing thing about Jesus and Christianity -- truth is made manifest by those who love and suffer for love: "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life." Jesus' words and life are a living reality for you.

    Thank you Courtney. This world needs more people to proclaim God's love to the world.

    Benjamin

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  113. So sad that I can't hug you right now, God knows you need them. I read your blog some time ago and it was beautiful. I thought about you and Tripp tonight and hoped for better, as the last blog entry I read he was going downhill, but found he had already passed.

    I'm glad that you can think of him and not break down. It's so hard to lose someone so close. Thankfully, he is somewhere now without pain and suffering and he will be with you always and forever. I wish you the best.

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  114. The corinthians verse is my favourite - I try to think about it every day. We live in a crazy, fast-paced world where it is often difficult to focus on what we are here for. I'm in total agreement wih you and think your words are wise. I think we should all really try to at least do one 'good' deed a day. I'll try harder Courtney because you're right we let 'life', the paying of bills and what we don't have consume us.

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  115. Courtney,
    I went through the day on February 14th, 2012 after reading this blog entry thinking of how I could impact someones day with an act of kindness. Consciously...lovingly. As I delivered my 3 acts of kindness I felt so good. I felt even better knowing I made the choice with love. It was very rewarding for me emotionally and I am thankful that you lit that fire in me. Thank you!

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  116. Hi Courtney,

    One of my good friends daughters passed away a couple of years ago, and I saw this on her page today and thought some of Preacher Mike's writings (he also lost a child) would help you right know. It might be nice for you to read these words from people who know exactly how you feel. http://preachermike.com/2012/02/10/when-a-child-dies-4
    Ronica

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  117. Courtney - this is the first time I have ever commented.
    I have been following your blog for around a year. I found out that I was pregnant with my first daughter and became a crazy, neurotic mama-blog addicted pregnant lady. The first time I read your blog I cried my eyes out and hoped and prayed that I could be as strong and loving a mother as you are.
    My baby girl is now four months old, and I am so thankful to say that she is healthy and beautiful and heartmelting. But I wanted you to know that I am still striving to mother my daughter on your model - selfless, strong, trusting and pure love.
    I haven't read recently, and I've only just discovered Tripp's passing. I needed to acknowledge his life and the ultimate effect that he, and you, have had on me and how I parent my daughter. He is such a beautiful little boy and it breaks my heart that he had to suffer so much, but I am, like you, thankful that he will be at peace now with the angels.
    I may be a million miles away from you and from Tripp, but I wanted you to know that you are and have been in my thoughts.
    Sleep tight little drummer boy, and look after your Mummy. xxxxxxx

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  118. Praying for you tonight, Courtney - and asking our Father to send you a measure of peace and comfort and yes, good memories amidst your pain.

    Sending so much love -

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  119. You are amazing Cortney and God knew what he was doing when he sent beautiful little Tripp to have you as a mommy. <3 We need reminders of this message and you were the perfect one to remind us. Praying for you and I know God continues to have big plans for you.xo

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  120. <3 Love to you and your family! Hope you are well Courtney! Thinkin about you

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  121. Just wanted you to know that I thought a lot about Tripp today. He will always have a special place in my heart and mind. What an amazing angel he must be. He is surely putting a smile on a lot of faces as we speak. I hope you remember this each night before you go to sleep. Your little man is alive and well, no more pain, safe in the company of our heavenly father.

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  122. Hi Courtney-- I wrote a post in my own blog inspired by coming across yours yeaterday. Hope you like it. In my prayers,
    Lisa
    http://dontspeed.blogspot.com/2012/02/life-is-purple-water-lilly.html

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  123. I continue to keep you in my prayers as you adjust to life without your little man. His story so touched my heart...your love was so inspiring. Last night I curled up with the Readers Digest and was so pleased to see your story in there...you have much to teach us about unconditional love. God bless you, Courtney...you and Tripp changed my perspective on life for the better.

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  124. Hi Courtney,
    My son has these hands, that I swear he look exactly like some of the pictures you've shown of Tripp's, even some of the same facial features. Today at the store, I bought him an Elmo because he loves red, and it made me think of Tripp.

    I have to ask, and though I know you may never answer, and I realize how religiously immature even ridiculous this may seem, how do you trust god, love him, after all of this?

    I'm afraid of getting too close to god, because I just see so many, who are phenomenal parents, and love god with their whole hearts get hurt.

    I believe in god, no question, and I'm so drawn to the story you and Tripp have here, so I keep coming back. I must have something to learn, right?

    I'm sorry for asking you, I know it's none of my business. I wish I could do something to help with your suffering, no one deserves their baby more than you.
    mary@mary-green.com

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  125. Thinking of you and praying often that God covers you in peace, quiets your ache and gently holds your broken heart in His hands.

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  126. while i was reading your latest blog post, my 22 month old little girl climbed up in my lap and was looking at Tripp's picture on your blog header. i was curious to see if she would notice the blisters on his face, but she said "aww baby! i love his nose!" i just thought it was so sweet, she didn't see one blemish on his perfect face, just that he had a cute nose! =)
    praying for you daily!
    kaci

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  127. courtney...
    i came across your blog on pinterest today and spent the whole afternoon reading about your life with tripp and what an amazing little man he was. my heart aches for you and yet rejoices for your incredible faith in god! i lost my son at 38 weeks of pregnancy and although it has been 6 yrs, the heartbreak still feels like yesterday. a day has not passed that i don't think of him. your story has made me weep and has strengthened my belief that our chilren are sitting on their father's knee watching over us and waiting for our retun home. there is no pain greater than the loss of a child...that i am certain of. your strength and courage is a testiment and i am thankful that you are a part of this world! i know the guilt that you have spoken of and that will get better. remember that as much as your love your son...he loves you just as much and wants to see his mama happy. please accept a strangers love from many miles away and know that you have touched my heart today and i will never forget that beautiful baby.

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  128. Just found your blog and now following. I join many others, I'm sure, in grieving with you and for you. As a mom of five kids with various special needs, I know the heartbreak of lost dreams, and the special love that swallows us up and bursts our hearts wide open with love beyond our our wildest dreams. Blessings to you.

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  129. Courtney,
    Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you every day. I know that God hears me and that Tripp knows but I want you to know. I hadn't prayed for about 21 years before reading your blog but I have every day since. I know that you are going through what no mommy should ever have to face and I want you to feel my love and admiration for you like a warm hug. So, here's a warm hug from Florida Courtney. I owe you everything and can't begin to express how grateful I am for you and your precious angel. You are a gracious instrument of the Lord and just as you prayed for Tripp's comfort for years, I will pray for yours.

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  130. I've been thinking of you a lot lately so imagine my surprise when I opened my Readers Digest and saw your face :) I'm glad you won Readers choice but you deserved first place! Hope you're doing well, Courtney. You're always in my thoughts.

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  131. I was so inspired by reading your post. Your an amazing lady. I am going to visit my estranged step mother in law this afternoon & I am going to try and take your advice "Love & Forgiveness". It has been almost 5 years since I saw her last (our wedding day) and more than that since we last spoke. She has never met our daughter who is 18 months old. It is time to try and move forward. Thank you for the kick up the pants I needed. Life is too short for holding grudges.
    Jodi

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  132. Thank you for your great example! You are truly a daughter of God and I know He loves you and is so pleased with everything you have done with your life and are doing with your life. Thank you for sharing your story and for strengthening mothers and families everywhere.

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  133. Courtney,

    Thinking of you & your family. Praying that God gives you the strengh to carry on (yes, this includes the days you feel like staying in bed). Second by second Courtney, hour by hour, please, remember your faith will guide you.

    I have to be honest-I grew up a christan, I am a christian but recently I lost my way. I have not lost a child, as so many others have, yet, I've lost some really significant people...thus leading me to turn away from Christ.

    Reading your posts, some days I felt drawn to your blog; not just to check on your angel & you, but to hear & read how much faith you have. Thank you for sharing with all of us. I truly believe you have a gift and hope you continue to share your love of Christ with others.

    Someday I would love to share with you how one of God's angels reached out to me- it was like being tapped on the shoulder and being reminded that all I have to do is open my heart. I can gladly say...You & your family are in my prayers.

    Take GOOD care of yourself!
    Anna

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  134. Dear Courtney,

    I am a friend of blogger, ‘Hot Mess Mom,’ and was recently brought to your page.
    I began reading your story and by the end of it, I was streaming tears and heartache.
    Tripp appeared stronger than most adults I know~
    I admire your ability to “see” through the exterior image and love him as he deserved to be loved. I wish more people in the world would have that gift. Life would be so much more beautiful as we would love soul~2~soul, without judgment. YOU are a true example of an unconditionally loving Mother. I am your fan.
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the struggles you are facing right now. I wish somehow I could reach out and help you grieve, but, GOD will help you in due time. Your story brought forth awareness of a disease I did not know existed.
    I will be praying for your comfort in the days, weeks, months and years ahead as you unfold the events since Tripp was born and you explore his journey to heaven. Grieve. You have the right, as his Mother. YOU were his Angel here on earth... I'd bet anything that he will continue to "fill you with love."
    Blessings to you and your family~ I will be keeping you in my prayers.

    With deepest heartfelt sympathy,
    Nicolle Napolitano

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  135. I was listening to the song, "Held", by Natalie Grant the other night and thought of you... I think you should listen to it if you get the chance :)Have a tissue box ready!

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  136. I check back often to see if you have had a new post. There isn't a day that goes by that I do not think about you, Tripp and your family. You guys are always part of our prayers and thoughts. I pray that God continues to hold you when you feel weak and rejoices on your better days. One day at a time, just breathe ... there is no timeline. Sweet lady, we are all willing you strength, love and peace.

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  137. How right you are, Courtney. I'm so glad that your love is giving you strength. The thoughts and prayers of my family and I are with you always.

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  138. Still thinking about you and your angel all the time! Hope you are doing well as you can be!

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  139. thank you for this beautiful post, courtney. we all need these wonderful reminders. i hope you have considered keeping a blog of spiritual wisdom and encouragement. i feel like you have so much to offer the world.

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  140. God Bless you. I have seen Heaven in my dreams. It was amazing. Tripp is laughing right now. Thank you for keeping the faith. You will see him again someday. Keep fighting. You are a beautiful and brave woman and you are touching many souls with your writing and your story.

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  141. Courtney,
    I’m lost for words. I came across your blog few days after your boy passed and I read every single blog you posted and I cried myself to bed. Few reasons why I cried: first, it’s not easy to hear about a little one going through a pain like Tripp’s; second, having a child has made me see her face in every other child and I don’t want any child to be hurt in any way; and I also cried because you were the first person that was able to put in words everything I’ve been feeling about my daughter. You truly understand and know how to reveal the love for her child. Being a mother I knew that the love I have for my daughter is like no other, but your writing, your choice of words summed up every single feeling of mine. It’s been said many times: love the people around you, love your child and show them every single moment that you love them, kiss them, hug them, get over your anger…But, I’m not lying when I say, that only after reading your blog those words finally stuck in my head and I like to thank you for opening my eyes so wide that I don’t want to close them and miss even one second with my daughter. You are the bravest person that I’ve ever heard of and most inspiring. There are many strong people and people who have done many extraordinary things, and I salute them, but in my eyes your motherhood has topped every single story I have read or heard. I think EVERY single person that not only has children, but plans to have children, should read your story to understand what it means to be a parent and what kind of mental and physical readiness is required to bring a beating heart into this world and sometimes (like in your case) send it off to heaven. You’ve heard this over and over, but I need to tell you again, you are the mother that everyone should try to be and become: brave, optimistic, loving, caring, patient…I actually have to re-write the dictionary to be able to describe you as a person. Thank you for being open with your feelings; I know many people have benefited from your blog. I feel like you have given me more comforting words that I can ever give you. No matter how sadden I’m with your story, you comfort me with your words, and you make me believe that there’s a reason for everything and out of every bad situation you get something good. Tripp was that something good for you and he always will be. I will keep sharing your story; people need to learn few things from you. Stay strong!
    Love,
    Lju

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  142. Hi Courtney - just thinking of you and praying for you tonight. Sending much love your way.

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  143. What an amazing post, Courtney! You speak right from the heart and it's beautiful. I am honestly amazed by your strength and your faith....you are an inspiration. It's our job as parents to love our children unconditionally, the way they love us and you are the gold standard of that! I'm not always patient with my son and you reminded me today that he is just a little soul and he deserves absolutely nothing but love and patience...that is what all children deserve.

    My heart breaks for you and I am so sorry you are hurting. I'm sending lots of love and prayers your way!

    ~Rebecca~

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  144. I was watching Elmo with my daughter on Youtube when I noticed some comments about a boy named Tripp Roth, which lead me to your blog. Courtney, you are a amazing woman and mother, and your son is certainly looking down on you and smiling. What an inspiration you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

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  145. Courtney, I have never commented before today as I've never felt I've had the "right" words...and I still really don't...I came across you and preciousl baby Tripp's story via a beautiful photo posted to Pinterest sometime in January. The link sent me directly to your blog and your "letter to EB" post which had me bawling my eyes out and seriously evaluating the kind of mother I've been to my son and realizing I could be much MUCH better. It was late and I couldn't read on for long, but only realized in reading people's comments on Pinterest that he had only recently passed. I regret that I didn't know about Tripp sooner, as those few minutes in getting acquainted with your story had already effected my life in many ways. I've literally thought about you and Tripp every day since and always end up having to wipe a tear (or several) away. There is a country song that comes on that instantly makes me think of you and your boy and reduces me to tears every time - its called "Over You" by Miranda Lambert (the title actually belies the message of the song) which I first heard around the time of this post. I don't know if you realize how many people you and your son have actually touched and changed. I would get updates DAILY, in the HUNDREDS some days, to my email referring back to that Pinterest post (I'm not sure if you've seen the. Or not), many of which are from mothers all saying that they will hug their children tighter, be more patient, be kinder in general...ALL. BECAUSE. OF. TRIPP. and his amazing mommy. And I'm certain there are hundreds more who may not have the words (as I also struggled to find) to say so. I cannot thank you enough for having the courage to share this story, of a brave, strong little boy and his amazing mother - the WORLD thanks you. I know anyone who's read it will be a little kinder, a little more patient, and a little more grateful toward their own children and in their own lives as a result.
    Forever changed by Tripp & Courtney Roth,
    Desiree Barnum - Portland, Oregon

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  146. Dear Courtney,
    I am a girl from Greece. I have a boy 15 months now. I meant to write to you from the first day I saw in a newspaper about your story. I read the articles, found your page and read your story till the end.

    I cannot describe in words how deep your story has touched me. It took me all this month to find the strength to contact you, just to tell you how proud you should be for your little baby, who stand up so bravely... to tell you also that little Tripp has touched so many people so deeply.... For days I could;t eat, concentrate in work, sleep or do more that 1 hour any of my normal activities. I was crying during the day for your little precious baby, why he had to suffer this, I was crying for you, why you had to witness all this cruel situation, i questioned God, how can He stand how can He allow such cruelty... I was waking up in the night panicked for you, for me for every mother, for every little baby that has to go though such or similar situations...

    I don;t know if I would be as brave as you are. I really admire you beyond words for your courage and patience and love. I was so shocked and panicked even to follow your story to the end, I felt my stomach punching, and imagine, I didn't even know Tripp, your family or you... I wish you from the bottom of my heart that your pain leaves you soon and only your love for Tripp remains... I am praying every night for you and for Tripp, wherever he may be now... it became a hobbit of mine, I can;t go to bed if I don't think of you both...

    I bet nobody can comfort you but at least to know that many people are praying for you, even if they never contact you, maybe, just maybe can ease a bit your pain...

    If payers have any power, I believe Tripp will be really good where he is...
    I wish we were in the same continent, then perhaps I could do something for you , I can;t stand the fact that somebody, you, are passing such terrible pain and i, like most of the people continue our life as usual......
    All my love and deepest sympathy
    from my heart, Elina Paliatsara

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  147. I came upon your blog by divine inspiration on 14, Feb. 2012 and since I have prayed for you daily. What an inspiration you are, to so many people. With your permission I would like to pay a mass for Tripp and one for you for our Heavenly Father to continue to bless you with strength. Many Many Blessings~

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  148. I hope you are finding some peace, Courtney.
    Thinking of you in Tennessee.

    Vicki

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  149. How are you coping and doing? I am hoping that you have acouple of shoulders ti lean on - or at least one huge and strong. Take care and try to cope. Hugs.

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  150. Thinking of you every single day and praying you feel God's peace over your broken heart. It feels so bittersweet that your precious Tripp suffered so much in his earthly life, yet each time he comes to mind, I cannot help but smile remembering his smile, his drumming and his radiance of God's love. I can't imagine how much you miss him...and I pray so hard that how he touched the lives of so many others gives you some, any, little bit of comfort. Love and hugs from Illinois.

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  151. Elina, I know exactly how you feel. I still read these pages in tears.

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