Tuesday, September 29, 2009

We went outside...WooHoo!

Today it was in the 80s outside!! It felt great... there was hardly any humidity.  We had to go to the dermatologist today... Grammy came with us, of course.  When we came out, it felt sooo good that I felt guilty bringing him home.  So I wanted to go sit outside and eat lunch.  Little did I know that it was EXTRA cool in the parking garage because it was shaded...duh.  So when we got to the restaurant, it was hotter than I thought.  Tripp's feet were starting to sweat, so we moved back inside.



Then when we got home, before we did his bath, we went outside on the front porch...



Then we went outside AGAIN when daddy was doing his baseball lessons... that's 3 times in one day!! WOW!  I don't think I've ever been so excited about the cool weather before.
The dermatologist gave him some medicine today for his itching, and he said it would make him sleepy... and he was right.  He's passed out now, so I better get some sleep... not that I will because I'm too nervous about him having a reaction to it, or being too sleepy that he won't wake up to eat. O well... Goodnight!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Digity Dog..

Randy, Tripp, and I have a new favorite dance... Check it out.
Next time anyone visits, they will have to perform it for Tripp.. haha

Rotten Boy

It is official:
I cannot feed my son through his feeding tube without playing the "Big Green Tractor" song. It is unbelievable. He can be screaming bloody murder and I play the song on my phone or my computer, and he immediately starts cooing. It's like he's singing. SOO adorable... and not to mention a Life Saver! Thank you Jason Aldean! WATCH:

This child is so rotten that it's almost not funny. This morning he was so fussy and I rocked him for a good 20 minutes... I mean, he was passed OUT. So I laid him in his swing and his eyes popped wide open and he started screaming. I gave him about 5 min to see if he would calm down and go back to sleep before I picked him up. I held him and laid on the couch with him face to face, humming a little bit and he was back asleep within 5 seconds. Rotten. But I'm okay with that... what else do I have to do than snuggle my little man? I guess that's why he's rotten to begin with. Oh, and I'm pretty sure he has like a sixth sense or something because every night when he's in his crib, he will start fussing. I wait a little while if I know it's not time for him to eat to see if he falls back asleep. Then as soon as I get up and stand over his crib- he stops. I stand there for a while to see if he will start back. THEN... I go get back in bed, put the pillow back between my knees, lay my head down, and.... he starts again. I did that at least 8 times last night... no lie. I think he would like it if I just stood over him all night. I mean, I would do anything for him... but I think that's impossible.

Nanny stayed the night last night. We had fun. I miss the good ole' days when we lived together and just laid around and goofed off all day, so I enjoy when she comes to play! Grammy and Papa came over too. Papa wanted to go eat dinner...and take a wild guess where we went? Olive Garden! UMM... Randy had a bachelor party for his friend in Grand Isle, so he missed out on dinner. Needless to say, he's not feeling well today. So our Sunday consists of this...

Cute huh?? Like father, like son... and BOY is that right. It's almost scary. At least it gives me some time to write.

We booked our flights to Cincinnati. We are leaving Wednesday, October 14th and coming back Friday the 16th. It's going to be a REALLY busy week. The golf tournament is the 12th, my birthday is the 13th, we leave the 14th (Tripp's 5 month birthday!), and come back the 16th. Not to mention while we are there on the 15th... this is our itinerary for the day:
9:00 appt with ENT
10:15 appt with Ophthalmology
1:00 appt with Dentistry
2:00 EB Center meeting... which they said will last AT LEAST 4-5 hours.
(at least they gave us a chance to eat lunch.. ha)
SO, we will have a pretty full day. Poor man will be exhausted!! Thank GOD we got non-stop flights there and back. Last time was a pain having to keep going up and down with all the stops. So please say a prayer that we have a safe trip and get at least a little bit of good news.

I know this is sad, but you know what the highlight of my morning was... I got to hold Tripp belly to belly with his head on my shoulder. I don't usually do that because of his tube, but I bent his little knees so it wouldn't touch me... and I snuggled him tight. It felt good... like normal. His tube site is looking pretty good. It is actually closing in and "somewhat" healing around it. Still really red and raw, but looks better than it did. So maybe once it heals some more poor man can get some tummy time! That will be something I'll have to ask in Cincinnati. I guess I should start making a list of questions to ask... I'm not good about doing that.. then I'll get there and forget everything I wanted to ask. Oh well...
Here's some recent pictures...

THIS is why he has bo-bo's on his face... because he is constantly rubbing and there's no stopping him without a straight jacket!

"Mom, really? That's enough..."

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Debbie Downer

I hate to be Debbie Downer, but I told myself I would make this blog so I could express how I feel.  This stinks.. not for me, for my poor baby.  I'm just not sure I really understand why my precious man has to suffer so much.  I guess I just have really good days and then every now and then some bad ones.  It kills me every time I have to feed him and he's starving, but he can't suck the bottle.  It's like he looks in my eyes and is thinking, "Why don't you feed me mommy?"  And then when he does smile it breaks my heart more because I know he's hurting and has no idea what it feels like not to have pain... but can still manage to smile at us.  He is just so beautiful.  I don't even see his bandages anymore when I look at him.  I don't see the bo-bo's on his cheeks anymore, or on his ears.  It's just normal to me.  I can't imagine looking at him with his arms and legs showing.. or looking at his little hands and seeing fingernails.  I just can't imagine what is feels like to have raw, bleeding fingers and ears all the time.  Or what is feels like to get new blisters everyday, or to be wrapped up like a mummy all of the time.  I have been praying and asking God to make him comfortable... to take his pain away.  But I guess I am just hoping that God gave him a very high pain tolerance along with this cruel disease.  Now don't take this all the wrong way... I am OKAY.  I totally get that God won't give me anything that I can't handle... I know that, and I can definitely handle this.  But I will have bad days sometimes... and it's not because I can't handle it, it's because I feel for my little man and when he gets sad, I get sad... and when he hurts, I hurt.  But I don't want my mom and Mrs. Pam to take Tripp from me, ha... they've told me before if I get all depressed on them that they're going to take Tripp and run - JOKINGLY of course.  It's just hard to imagine what he goes through unless you see it on a daily basis.  And my God... he couldn't be a better baby (or a more beautiful one)... But when I wonder why God gave him to ME??  I read this over and over.  It is something given to me by my aunt Judy, who can surely sympathize. 

What God Sees When He Delivers a Handicapped Child

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by special pressures, and a couple by habit.

This year, over 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.  Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.  As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew."  "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia."

"Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, giver her Gerard- he's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name and smiles... "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious.  "Why this one, God?  She is so happy."

"Exactly," said God.  "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter?  That would be cruel." 

"But does she have patience?" asks the angel?

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.  Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today.  You see, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother.  You see, the child I am going to give her has his own world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter.  I can fix that.  This one is perfect.  She has enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness!  Is that a virtue?"

God nods, "If she can't separate herself from her child occasionally, she'll never survive.  Yes, here is a woman I will bless with a child less than perfect.  She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied."

"She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.'  She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time she will be present at a miracle and know it!  When she describes a tree or sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.  

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them.  She will never be alone.  I will be at her side every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asked the angel, pen poised midair. 

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

So, isn't that awesome?  That's enough to get me through the day.  That and knowing that my little man needs MORE love, MORE hugs, and MORE smooches than ever!! And I know that I have to be strong for him. 
SOO... on a Positive note... check this precious little man out!! 

Monday, September 21, 2009

Summing up the past week...

It's been a crazy one... Let's see, maybe we went a little overboard for Tripp's "4 month birthday," but when the doctor in Cincinnati told us we would be lucky if he made it to his first birthday... we then decided every single birthday would be special.  And it will be.  He liked it.. and of course I liked the fact that my aunt Mary made him a cake that I ate pretty much ALL of.  

Football... Ahhh.  So glad Tripp likes it too.   

Ready to get wrecked by a rookie? ha

Here's some with his toys, and of course with Baloo... those are my favorites!

This one was adorable... He was staring at it like, "What's your problem, horse?"

And these, haha!  Iwanted him to try and hold his head up to help heal the sores on the back.  Needless to say, he  didn't do it for very long!

Sitting up on the couch like a big boy!!

These are pictures with Daddy... Mommy doesn't get many pictures because she's always taking them.  I know, welcome to motherhood.  It's not about me anymore... ha

So, we had a great weekend... little man was pretty fussy, but as I always say... I don't know how he isn't fussy all day every day- I would be if I was him.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Our First Family Outing

Today was our first family outing... just Randy, Tripp and I.  We went to the driving range!  It was actually windy and somewhat cool.  I actually needed a little light jacket.  The only way Randy could convince me to go was by telling me he promised we would leave if I thought it was too hot for Tripp.  But actually it felt really good.  I took his little socks off and his feet were kind of cold.  So it was really fun.  We only stayed for a little bit, so daddy could hit some balls.. but Tripp thoroughly enjoyed it.  He sat on my lap and watched everything that was going on.  It was so loud out there and it didn't bother him at all. 

Daddy said he wants to have our little outing like twice a week.  That would be good, because it will be getting cooler soon... it will probably be enjoyable to get out when the weather gets nice.  Tripp didn't know what to think about being outside.  And me, I felt disgusting because I haven't actually been outside for over 30 minutes in a really long time... so I felt like I smelled like a puppy dog.  But, it was long overdue and really kinda nice that just the 3 of us could get out together.   See that picture below, that's daddy in the back... I'm quite the photographer, I know!! 

Go Saints Go!

Today was Tripp's first NFL game... yay!  He looked so spiffy in his new Drew Brees jersey.. and he actually didn't hate it like I thought he would.  He sat in that bouncy chair and watched at least the first quarter with his eyes fixed on the TV, without making a peep.  I can get used to football season! Thank God mommy likes football too!  I was hoping that he wouldn't projectile vomit all over his jersey before I could take a few pictures.... Luckily  I got to take more than a few, as always. 

Of course I over did it, like always... but you know I had to have something cute to go with his cute jersey, so I made a sign.  I wanted Tripp to have the full experience of really being at the game!  Daddy thought I was nuts.  But one day I'm going to be glad I have all these cheesy pictures....

Of course it didn't take long for him to get bored with my playing dress-up, and he passed out.  I thought he was just the most adorable little thing... And he couldn't go the whole game without having to chew on Baloo either.  I don't know why I didn't think of Baloo a long time ago.  Poor little man has his seventh tooth coming in! 

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Football Night with Daddy

Little Man had a rough week... He had to get a new feeding tube put in.  So now he gets to relax with daddy and watch football all weekend... but first they played all morning with Tripp's new favorite "teething" toy named Baloo.

Then... the football started.  Tripp was certainly dressed for the occasion.  He wore his new LSU outfit for the first time.... it fits him so cute.  He is so content just sitting in his bouncy seat watching the game, and he even let mommy play around and take pictures.  

Tripp's new teething toy is the softest little bear blanket thingy.  He is always chewing on his gloves, so we figured this would be a little softer.  It is so precious because he actually holds it and brings it to and from his mouth and stares at it in his little hands.... ahh, the little things that make us smile these days.  He is a little behind with some things, like hitting and grabbing for things because he has his gloves on and is wrapped up all the time.  But we are trying to let his hands out more so he can practice grabbing.  He will catch up I'm sure...right now he just likes to be a little lazy.  He hates when we make him sit up and "exercise his neck." I'm sure he's thinking, "You guys really want me to hold this big head and these big cheeks up by myself?"