Sunday, November 28, 2010

Angel giving tree.

So I found out that The Salvation Army pairs up with JCPenney's to offer online Angel adoptions for Christmas called the Angel Giving Tree.  You can adopt children or senior citizens who are in need.  It doesn't cost to adopt but you get a list of the child's needs and wants.  You can adopt someone in your area, or someone across the country.  It doesn't say names... just age and location.  

I adopted my angel yesterday.  I'm not saying that I have everything I need.  But I feel SO very blessed and fortunate to have so many people who want to help our family.  And all our family needs this Christmas is a miracle of healing for Tripp, so all I can ask for is prayers.  But if I could have ONE Christmas wish it would be for everyone I know to adopt someone in need this year.  Either here at the Angel Giving Tree, or by going to your local church and asking for a family to adopt, or however you can help make Christmas a little more special for someone in need.  It breaks my heart to think that there are children who don't get anything at all for Christmas, when Tripp has 457 toys just lying around.  You don't have to get anything big... just maybe a doll, or some toy trucks.  Or even a t-shirt or a pair of shoes.  I know it will make you feel good this Christmas.  It made me feel good:)

But on a "Tripp" note, I'm starting to think he is nocturnal.  He likes to sleep all day so he can stay up all night.  And in the mornings when I "think" he's about to get up... I'll ask him, "Do you want to get up?" or "Do you want to rock-rock with Mommy?"  And he will most of the time get mad and turn to the other side, usually trying to slap me out of his face.  Poor man knows how bad it hurts to get up and start moving around so most of the time I have to drag him out of bed before it's nighttime again!  Then most days it will take him awhile after getting out of bed to actually want to try to sit up and play.  His eyes are hurting him so bad... he's still been pretty much hit or miss these days.  Sometimes you can tell he can't do a thing because his eyes bother him, and other times (especially after bath) he can play, dance, or throw a fit with the best of them.  

Gosh, I love him.  Some days (mostly morning or night when I'm laying next to him) I'll watch him with his poor squinchy eyebrows and his knees pulled up to his chest in pain.  Or worse, when he flops around like a fish because you can tell he's itching somewhere and can't scratch.  And don't even get me started on bath time.  That is just awful and we all (Tripp, mom and I) have to mentally prepare ourselves for it.  

Most of the time it really gets to me that I can actually be strong enough to watch my baby in so much pain.  I know that I have to be and that I don't have any other choice, but sometimes I just feel "cold."  This whole disease plays games with your emotions, you guys have probably figured that out by now.  But it's just weird to me that I can actually do all the things that I have to do to Tripp, and cause him SO much pain.  I WANT to break down and cry, don't get me wrong.  But it's like I'm just numb- going through the motions.  I don't know, it's hard to explain.  But I do know that I would literally give my life for him to never hurt again.  

But on a brighter note, I get to spend all day with...

 "Dr. Tripp."  



These pictures are WITH numbing drops in his eyes 
(shhh... don't tell his eye doctor)- "quality of life" is my motto:)

OH, and I almost forgot!!  Tripp learned how to say "book" today.  And it's just about the cutest thing I've ever seen.  I will try to get it on video soon.  It makes us so proud when he learns a new sign.  It's so cute to see him watching us so closely and then trying to mimic us.  
I don't know how you can love one kid SO much. 

Love,
Photobucket

22 comments:

  1. I can't believe that with all you have on your plate, you are still thinking of others. You are truly an inspiration. God Bless You, and little Tripp.

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  2. You are the sweetest thing Courtney! Dr Tripp looks adorable in blue...it's his color for sure!

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  3. I'm still praying for his eyes. I wish I could do more.

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  4. You are awesome Courtney! The true meaning of Christmas flows through you.
    Chris (PEZ)
    www.ebfriends.ning.com

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  5. Thanks for the info about the Salvation Army Angel program - I just signed up for a 1 month old near me up here in Chicago!

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  6. The Dr. Tripp photos made me think of this song.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TZ-v5BW-pQ

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  7. Is Tripp getting adequate pain management? That can be such a tough area to get covered in pediatrics. We're fortunate to have a good doc here in Baton Rouge to handle that.

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  8. I wish I could take his pain too Courtney - and I'm not just saying that either.

    He's one amazing little man, and I don't think I know of anyone stronger or more courageous than Tripp - to still be able to smile through what must be THE most excruciating pain is just incredible. Not a day goes by that I don't think of your little warrior. I have a chronic pain condition, and some days I feel so sorry for myself but I only need to think of Tripp and it snaps me back into reality. NO pain I feel could ever even come close to what this little boy endures on a daily basis. I cannot begin to comprehend it actually.

    Tripp has taught me the true meaning of courage, strength and tenacity - and you Courtney, have taught me the true meaning of selflessness. You, and your family, rock.

    And Tripp - I wish for you major healing of those beautiful eyes of yours dear one. The smiling pic of you dressed as a doctor is just the bee's knees!

    I love Tripp. He's just the bee's knees!

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  9. Praying for your little man.Love you Tripp!

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  10. Daylon has the same shirt! It's so fitting for these boys! Thanks for passing on the Christmas gift information! Great idea.
    Tripp's poor eyes look so painful! We praying for you guys! Love, Jennifer

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  11. Praying for you handsome man! praying for your little eyes to feel better.

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  12. Courtney..if anyone is interested, I have a little project in the making. Check out my FB page- it's called "I helped Bring Carson Home". Make a $20 donation and receive a darling little ornament for your tree. 100% goes to the Cannell Family in Lodi Ca. who are in the process of adopting Carson, who has EB. Beautiful family - beautiful thing to do this holiday season.

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  13. How awesome! Love the doctor outfit.

    Thank you for sharing your story- and for being so raw about the emotions- both good and tough.

    I listed you in a mommy directory I'm growing- I think your story is an important one to be told.

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  14. He is such a sweet precious little man. I think of y'all often and have prayed for your strength and comfort and peace.

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  15. i know it's "easy" for me to say coming from the outside looking in rather than living your life, but i think being able to "distance" yourself from Tripp's pain in those moments makes you a GREAT mom!

    of course you love him, of course you'd take it from him in a second, but in order to help Tripp you HAVE to be strong enough to put HIS needs before your own.

    if you were to dwell on how much you're hurting him or how much pain he's in, you can't effectively help him. it would be selfish in a way for you to say, "i'm going to focus on MY heartache over this rather than focusing on what Tripp needs me to do right now." you really can't fully put yourself where you need to be emotionally & mentally for him if you're more worried about how much this sucks.

    i'm praying for you guys. the most important thing is loving Tripp & doing the best you can... you're doing a great job. :-)

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  16. Courtney you DEFINE unconditional love. So many people will never be tested the way you have been, and you are such an inspiration and gift to this world. You are enduring so much yet reaching out to others, I cannot even liken you to anyone other than Mother Theresea. You are so strong, which is evident by your need at times need to feel numb in order to go through what you do on a daily basis. God BLESS YOU and your son, I hope his pain is lessened and eyes healed a little more every day through your love and dedication to him.

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  17. Tripp,
    You don't even know us baby, but I'd give up my whole christmas club account if I could buy you a cure from EB! And I know my 4 kids would agree!
    Courtney, he just melts my heart! I can't imagine how your heart must ache watching him in pain each day! God Bless you and your family.....A friend sent me a link to this blog a few months back and now I check each day for updates....I love the little videos...so cute.

    Happy Holidays
    Kim
    Centerville, LA

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  18. Courtney,

    Once again, you snap me back into reality. As I sit here whining and moaning about a test I have tomorrow morning- I just read your blog and admit that now I am very embarrassed that I have been worried sick about such minor issues when there are many bigger issues out there. Every day life is a struggle of emotions for you as you sit surrounded by your baby boy and his fragile health- man, have I been selfish. :(

    Thanks again for opening my eyes and teaching me not to worry about the petty things in life. If today was my last day, I would be mighty ashamed to know that I spent it griping about a test instead of cherishing life's precious moments.

    Hoping you and Tripp have a good day.

    Take care.

    Jessica W. Poole
    Ponchatoula, LA

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  19. Angel Tree is my favorite part of the year! Love it. Knowing that you're doing it, too, makes it more fun for me. Love to Tripp and prayers for his eyes.

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  20. What a wonderful thing to do for a family this holiday season. I know that my boys have way more toys than they need, so after Christmas they have to go through their toys and donate as many toys as they got new for Christmas. It helps another family and it keeps their toys mess to a tolerable amount.

    I wish there was a magical answer to have everything clear up and for Tripp to feel 100% all the. He is so darn cute and is sure lucky to have a wonderful mom like you.

    Blessings to you all.

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  21. Courtney, you are doing an amazing job with Tripp. I went through many of the same emotions when caring for Elle. I loved her so much (and always will) but I had to "turn off" to bathe her too. I believe I was her favorite person in the world and I caused her the most pain too. Tripp feels the love through the painful cares. I would have easily given my life to take away her pain too. No one knows what being an EB parent is like. Your doing beautifully and BTW I am going to adopt a kid or family this year.

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  22. Hi Courtney, I've never commented before; I usually read and pray for you, Tripp and your family. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that your description of being numb or "cold" is, I believe, your motherly instinct. If you did not (subconsciously) allow those "numb/cold" feelings, I don't think you could be as strong as you are, which you HAVE to be to take such loving care of Tripp every day. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to see your son in that much pain. You and Tripp are truly inspiring angels on earth. May God continue to bless you and keep his arms wrapped around your family.

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